.x#$$#x. `:$$$$:' The Game Review! .x%#$$$$$$#%x. .x#$$$$#x. .x#$$$#x. `""""$$$$""""' .S$$$$$$$$S.$$$$$$$$$Ss $$$$.sS$Ss.$$$$ $$$$$`$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$',$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ """"`$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ sS$Ss."$$$ $$$$$$ pn `-------------- $$$$$$$$$$$ ------------' $$$$$$$$'` ~VOTED #1 WAREZ MAG/REVIEW BY INTERNET USERS~ .a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$a. $$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$' s `$$ $' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $$ ISSUE #24 $ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ssss$$ $ o o$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ssss. $$ 05/26/96 $. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$ $$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$. $ ,$$ `$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$&@%o%@&hd' "All the games that are fit to print." Un-Releastic: "I have never played a game I didn't like." -Stu Pid Fewl Realistic : "This game sucks!" -Ionizer ____________ News Updates ============ -That's it, I've been broken, sometime soon I will install win95. Please don't email me negatively for not resisting, it's either do this, or end up with more weeks of not being able to review half the games. ============================================ HOW TO GET THIS MAGAZINE ON A REGULAR BASIS: -------------------------------------------- (WHERE and WHEN can I GET The Game Review? The Game Review (c) Ionizer, will) (be released every SUNDAY, and can be obtained by /m ionizer xdcc send #1) OR #1 My home page (New GFX, Java scroll, animated gifs) (Thanks to Agile & Ent) http://ns2.clever.net/~ionizer (Note: Contains all issues and is always up to date.) OR #2 E-Mail AUTO Responder (Thanks to Malk and Mael) Just write mail to tgr@inforelay.com . (Note: Only for the NEWEST TGR out.) NOTE: THERE IS NO MAILING LIST OF ANY KIND! =========================================== - * - * - * - * - * * - * - * - * - * - GAME REVIEWS, RATINGS, UN-BIASED OPINIONS, HELP/TIPS FOR INSTALLING GAMES! [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] -Rating scale: (0-19)/100 = In a nutshell, it sucked! (20-39)/100 = Still crap but slightly better. (40-49)/100 = Possibly worth downloading. (50-69)/100 = Pretty decent game. Might want to check it out. (70-79)/100 = Worth the download if you like that type. (80-89)/100 = Very good, 9 outta 10 its worth the download. (90-99)/100 = Excellent game, a MUST download. 100/100 = HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BETTER GAME! RATINGS are based on the game idea, graphics, sound, playability, ingenuity, versatility, and a lot of other words ending in `ity'. These games are based on what happens on MY COMPUTER ONLY, unless stated otherwise. I always first follow nfo directions, and if those don't work or are not available, I then try other ways. So just b/c it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't work for you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -<*><*> THE GAME REVIEW <*><*>- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ________________________/¯|__/| ___________ \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ +--------\___/÷e÷/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ TOTAL MAYHEM (c) Domark/Formgen! [xx/22] Damnit, I didn't have this one reviewed last week b/c Prestige states that it is for win95, when it is actually for both. So I copied all fucking 21 disks to disk and then on another computer, to find out it didn't work on that computer. So I read the readme.txt and found out it was for win3.1 too. So I installed and was kinda disappointed since I thought it would be a lot like Crusader: No Remorse. It's the same type of game, but this one lacks any intensity whatsoever, and the engine SUCKS. Plus the mouse control is terr- ible. The graphics are nice svga, but I'd rather go down a level in gfx, and still be more like Crusader. You are given certain objectives and able to buy weapons just like Crusader. You can blow up practically anything, but it's just not as much fun was it was in Crusader. To put it this way, if you wanted to d/l this, just look around for Crusader: No Remorse, it's much better, and definitely worth the time, this on the other hand, is not. RATING: 57/100 Micro Machines 2 Tournament Edition [1o/1o] _ ________________________ _____ ________ _ \\_____ \_____ \_____ \/ . \\_____ \\ dZG/\ __// _ |/ ____/. | \/\ __/ _/ \ \/ /_ _/ /_ | ! _/ \ \ \____\ \______\_________|_____\____\ \_ =======\___/===ù1911ùCDùDIVISIONù======\___/ Here's another edition with new tracks to a now popular and well known game. Micro Machines 2 TE has all the shit it had before, but it now includes a bunch of new courses, and an editor so you can make your own courses. You can also now play up to 16 people! I think it's a good game, but the course is just too small and cars too fast, and the turns just come up too quick and you can't turn good enough for them. For more about MM2 read past issues. RATING: 63/100 .---[ "Wierd" Al Yankovic SS (CD-RIP) ]-----. | (c) Rock N' Roll Records 1996! | | ._____.______ .__. /\.__ - Strider | |-/ ___/ ___/ ¬\| | ___/ ¬| \------------| |/ /_.¬\ ._>_ \ |/__/\_ | _/GENERATiON-X| |\ | \ | ¬\ \ | / _ ¬\ 1996 | |-\___ /___ /_|\__|----\__| /------------| `-----\/evl-\/---[o5.20.96]--\/-----[xX/17]-' Seems like GNX fucked up the packaging on this one. When you rar, and you get to the 4th disk, it comes up with some error "Solid archive..." and then something about needing the first one. Anyway, maybe they will re-release it. I was able to only extract part of an amish paradise .wav, so I have no idea what the program is like. Anyway Al kicks ass. RATING: NA/100 ________________________/¯|__/| ___________ \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ +--------\___/÷e÷/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ Total Knockout Championship Female Boxing x/11 Here's the full version (despite the fact it tells you to order it) of this excellent boxing game. It's very, very similar to the arcade game Punch Out!, but the graphics are far more superior, and there are special moves. Yes, you did read write, there are only women in the game (and you know that men made this game, because the tits are like 3 times the size they should be). You go through a title card of people, from "Fearleader " to amazon like monkey calling bitches. Instead of getting TKO's, you can get PMS! (j/k). Anyway this is a great boxing game, only thing I could think of to make it a little more exciting would be more types of punches (left and right - high and low) and different reactions to getting punched because it's sometimes hard to tell if you got hit or if you hit the other person. Other- wise a great game, but this little 11 disk'er does take up a whopping 68 megs. RATING: 84/100 [ Duke Nukem 3D FULL CD [XX/19] ] $$$$$_.,s .$$ý^ý$ $$$$. $ $$$ $ $$$$$$$$'.$$$' `$`$$$$. $' $$$ $ $$$$$ý' $$$$ýýýýý' `$$$$. $' $$$ $$$$$ `$$$$, `$$$$$' $ $$$ $$$$$[Jag] $$$$Ss. `$$$ $ $$$ REVOLUTiON X presents -May 21th 1996- [ EVERYTHiNG ON THE DUKE NUKE 3D CD! ] [ READ THE REVX.NFO FOR ORE DETAiLS ] This is the fullcd of DN3d. It includes the following: DN 1 REG, DN 2 REG, DN3D REG, DN3D official level editor, Doom WAD files to DN3D map file maker maker, animation files from DN3D, DN3D music files in .mid format, DN3D sound files in .voc format, 3d Realms and Apogee Official .FAQ, DN3D .RTS maker, DN3D univbe , and previews of: Blood, Prey, and Shadow Warrior. The only really good use you might be able to get out of this, is the rtsmaker, the doom-->dn3d map converter, and the level editor (if you don't have it already). So you really don't need to get the game again, just get those. Also, don't run the install shit, just go into whatever dir you need to and run the setup. RATING: You Already Know/100 ________________________/¯|__/| ___________&Battleground Waterloo:Movie Add-on \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/&______ ___ _____ ________ ____ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| &/\_ \ __|_/ _/ ____ \\/ / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______&\_/ __/ _/ _\ \ _/_/ __/ /| +--------\___/÷e÷/aL!\/--------/_____\-----&+\___\__________/____\___\___/___ Battleground 3: Waterloo (c)TalonSoft xx/36&====[x/12]=====[ úDúOúGúSú ]===== Here's the 3rd in the line of this strategy war game. I don't know how many more detailed options they can make these war games have, but this one seems to top the rest. Excellenty detailed graphics showing the type of land, and type of army on it. However, they still can't seem to go away from those octagonal shaped areas where you move the army to and from. There are so many options in this one, I'd need 30 years to type 'em all out. I only reccomend those with a lot of time to play this out, to get this. The movie addons aren't much, and not really worth it. RATING: 67/100 ÄÄ´ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Û²±° ÄÄÄÄÄ ÜÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÄÄÄ´ÄÄ ³ ÛÛ²± ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ À³ ³ ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ aND ±²ÛÛÛÝ ³ ³Ú ßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛß °±²Û ³ ÄÄÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄSH!ÄÃÄÄ Piranha -FINAL-, (c) D-Designs! [4/4] ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÃÄÄ JiSM and FaST ÄÄ´ÄÄ This game is extremely similar to Stardust. It's pretty much exactly the same, the only thing that is better about this one, is that you have better control of the ship. You can make quicker turn arounds and stuff. Other than that, it's exactly like Stardust, same objective, same gfx. Just shoot the stone'ish objects, they break up into smaller, and then smaller, and then still smaller things (the stones, not your dick). You will get bored event- ually. RATING: 55/100 ________________________/¯|__/| ___________ \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ +--------\___/÷e÷/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ Wizardry GOLD (c) Sir-Tech [14/14] +------------------------------------------+ This one was a pain in the ass to figure out. First off, to insure that you don't sit through the 5 minute opening (4.5 of which are just credits), make sure you do a nice combo of esc-enter-spacebar, and eventually the thing will end. Once you are in the game, you need to select 6 characters. Once you do that you'll finnaly get to play this ugly gfx rpg game. It's the rpg type where you have human/elf, etc, and you can select their skills and stuff. It's not exactly real great, but those of you who like rpg might be able to overlook the graphics and gameplay ;). RATING: 48/100 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>THE GAME OF THE WEEK<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This week's GOTW goes to PRESTIGE for their release of TOTAL KNOCKOUT CHAMP- IONSHIP FEMALE BOXING. This is an excellent boxing game, just like the arcade game, Super Punch Out, but with better graphics. It is worth the 11 disks to just check out. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>OTHER RELEASES<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sensible Soccer Euro 96 EDT. 100 New Warcraft 2 Levels Return Fire Jeopardy: Platinum Edition 3D Game Alchemy Pacific Theater of Operations 2 Championship Manager ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>UPCOMING RELEASE DATES<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -All projected dates are as of MAY 24TH 1996, 8am (EST) and based on store release dates. This section is updated when available and I can only update it when the info is available, so don't tell me about it having old dates. Key to system types: DCD = DOS CD WCD = Windows CD MCD = Mac. CD W95CD = Win 95 CD M3 = Mac. Disk W3 = Windows Disk W953 = Win 95 Disk D3 = DOS Disk HCD = Mac./Windows CD Date | Name of Game | OS | Company ----------------------------------------------------------- 95/04/24 CYBER JUDAS IBCD MERIT SOFTWARE 96/05/22 SETTLERS 2 DCD BLUE BYTE 96/05/23 LST ADV LEGND DCD RANDOMSOFT 96/05/24 RENEGD:JACOB DCD MINDSCAPE 96/05/25 CHRON SWORD DCD SONY ELECTRONIC PUBLISH/ 96/05/28 LINKS LS DCD ACCESS SOFTWARE 96/05/29 PRO PINBL:WEB DCD ENTERACTIVE INTERNATIONAL 96/06/01 PELICAN HILL DCD ACCESS SOFTWARE 96/06/01 CIV WAR MED DCD ENTERACTIVE INTERNATIONAL 96/06/01 SIMN SORCER2 DCD SONY ELECTRONIC PUBLISH/ 96/06/02 SHELLSHOCK DCD U.S. GOLD INC. 96/06/02 DEATHKEEP DCD STRATEGIC SIMULATION 96/06/02 CAS CHMP2PKR DCD INTRACORP,INC. 96/06/03 DRAGONLAIR2 DCD READY SOFT 96/06/03 AH-64D LNGBW DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/06/03 GENDERWARS DCD GT SOFTWARE 96/06/06 BIG HURT DCD ACCLAIM 96/06/07 PGA96:SAWGRS DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/06/07 MORTIMER DCD LUCAS ARTS 96/06/07 FINAL DOOM DCD GT SOFTWARE 96/06/10 WING COMM IV DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/06/15 HIND DCD INTERACTIVE MAGIC 96/06/15 ALIEN TRIL DCD DIGITAL PICTURES 96/06/15 BTLCRSR 3000 DCD TAKE 2 INTERACTIVE 96/06/15 MAGIC GATHER DCD SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE 96/06/18 AFTER LIFE DCD LUCAS ARTS 96/06/19 MEGA RACE 2 DCD MINDSCAPE 96/06/21 HARVESTER IBCD MERIT SOFTWARE 96/06/21 DUNGON KEEPR DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/06/21 KINGDOM MGC DCD GT SOFTWARE 96/06/22 BULL FROG PK DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/06/24 MECH 2 NET DCD ACTIVISION 96/06/25 FIREFIGHT DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/06/28 SPACEHULK 2 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/07/01 GRAND PRIX 2 DCD SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE 96/07/01 PINEHURST DCD ACCESS SOFTWARE 96/07/01 OVER REICH DCD AVALON HILL 96/07/20 AD&DCORERULESDCD TSR 96/07/28 QUAKE SHWR DCD ID SOFTWARE 96/08/01 JETFIGHTR III IBCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS 96/08/01 WARHAWK DCD SONY ELECTRONIC PUBLISH/ 96/08/01 TWISTD METAL DCD SONY ELECTRONIC PUBLISH/ 96/08/01 MAST/ORION 2 DCD SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE 96/08/01 METAL LORDS DCD NEW WORLD COMPUTING INC. 96/08/01 LOST ADMRL II DCD AMERICAN LASER GAMES 96/08/20 NEED SPEED SE DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/01 VR BASEBALL DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS 96/09/01 GOLF NICK P DCD GT SOFTWARE 96/09/01 HIST WORLD DCD AVALON HILL 96/09/01 POWERSLAVE DCD PLAYMATES INTERACTIVE ENT 96/11/15 RAW PURSUIT DCD JVC COMPANY OF AMERICA 97/01/01 DEADLY SKIES DCD JVC COMPANY OF AMERICA 96/06/15 FTSY FBALL96 HCD ENTERACTIVE INTERNATIONAL 96/06/24 ELK MOON #1 HCD ACTIVISION 96/03/11 HOYLES CLASS MCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/05/20 SHIVERS MCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/05/27 HEXEN MCD GT SOFTWARE 96/05/28 CATZ MCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/05/28 ALONE TRIL MCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS 96/06/01 PELICAN HILL MCD ACCESS SOFTWARE 96/06/07 MORTIMER MCD LUCAS ARTS 96/06/18 AFTER LIFE MCD LUCAS ARTS 96/06/24 MUPPETS TRSR MCD ACTIVISION 96/06/30 GAB KNIGHT 2 MCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/07/01 TORIN'S PASS MCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/07/01 PINEHURST MCD ACCESS SOFTWARE 96/08/01 EMPIRE II MCD NEW WORLD COMPUTING INC. 96/08/01 HERO MHT MGC MCD NEW WORLD COMPUTING INC. 96/08/23 9 MCD GT SOFTWARE 96/09/01 MORT KMBT 3 MCD GT SOFTWARE 96/03/05 DRUMBEAT M3 DEADLY GAMES 96/06/21 NETSCAPE NAV MAC VENTANA PRESS 96/05/27 MILO WCD MICROSTAR 96/05/27 BRAINSTORM WCD SIMON & SCHUSTER 96/05/28 WIZARDRY GLD WCD SIR TECH 96/05/28 CATZ WCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/05/29 SCIFI TRIVIA WCD SIMON & SCHUSTER 96/06/01 CIVIL WAR:LEE WCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/01 GREGNORM GLF2WCD GROLIER ELECTRONIC PUB. INC. 96/06/10 WARHAMMR 40K MINDSCAPE 96/06/10 VOYEUR II WCD PHILIPS INTERACTIVE MEDIA 96/06/15 QST.GLORYCOLL.WCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/15 HOYLE-BLKJAK WCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/15 HOYLE-SOLITREWCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/15 WOOD SHIP MEN WCD AVALON HILL 96/06/19 MARLOW WCD SIMON & SCHUSTER 96/06/24 MUPPETS TRSR WCD ACTIVISION 96/06/30 FPS BASEBAL96WCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/30 LIGHTHOUSE TCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/30 INDY CAR 2 HCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/30 URBAN RUNNER WCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/07/01 BTLGRD4 SHILH WCD ENTERACTIVE INTERNATIONAL 96/08/01 DAGGERFALL DCD BETHESDA 96/08/23 9 WCD GT SOFTWARE 96/06/01 DUKE SCNSVR W3 FORMGEN 96/05/27 AMER CIVLWAR W5C INTERACTIVE MAGIC 96/05/28 FLIGHT UNLMT W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/05/30 CRL WP 7.0U W5C COREL SYSTEMS 96/05/30 ARCADE CLS W5C GT SOFTWARE 96/06/01 DIABLO W5C DAVIDSON 96/06/01 MISSION FORC W5C SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/06/05 SIMISLE W5C MAXIS 96/06/10 ULT DOOM W95CD GT SOFTWARE 96/06/10 DOOM II W5C GT SOFTWARE 96/06/20 TRIP PLAY 97 W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/06/25 CLOSE CMBT W5C MICROSOFT 96/07/15 STAR CONTR 3 W5C WEA VIDEO 96/08/01 HEXEN W5C GT SOFTWARE 96/08/15 MORT KOMBT 3 W5C GT SOFTWARE 96/09/01 MORTIFICATOR W5C PLAYMATES INTERACTIVE ENT 96/10/01 STR TRK GEN W5C SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE 97/01/01 MINDWARP W5C MAXIS ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>CORRECTIONS<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Looks like I'm one again a leet perfectionist. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- THIS MAGAZINE IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER, CONDONES THE PIRATING, STEALING, OR ANY OTHER ILLEGAL MEANS OF OBTAINING SOFTWARE. I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS AS A RESULT OF READING THIS MAGAZINE, NOR HAVE I DONE ANYTHING ILLEGAL TO OBTAIN THE REVIEWED GAMES. IF YOU LIKE HOW THE REVIEW OF A GAME SOUNDS THEN BY ALL MEANS PURCHASE IT AND SUPPORT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY. ANY AND ALL MAGAZINE GROUPS HAVE PERMISSION TO USE THIS IN THEIR MAGAZINE, AS LONG AS IT HAS NOT BEEN EDITED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, AND YOU HAVE OBTAINED MY WRITTEN EMAIL PERMISSION. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>CLOSINGS<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -That's it for this week, hope it was of help. -Ionizer (Game Reviewer /\ MLC/RZR/RoR/PNC/LGX/MSQ Courier) Comments/Complaints send to ionizer@ns2.clever.net (NO QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS) .a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$a. $$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$ $' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ o $$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ $. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$ $$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$ $$' o '$$$ $ $$' s `$$ `$$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ $o $$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ ~' o$$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ sssss$$ %. ^$$$$$ $$ $ $$$s s$$ $ $$ $$ $$$$$ $$. $ ,$$$$@. .@$$$. $ ,$$ $$ $$$$$ `$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$hd' Copyright 1996 Ionizer Inc. #167A939