Issue 0007: "SPACE SHUTTLE JOKES!"                   The Internet Sux
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*** NOTICE ***
All misspellings and attributions to the wrong person are in
fact on purpose. This supposedly adds another layer of humor
to the humor packet switching system, or HPSS. Please note
that this issue is so highly offensive that I will personally
rm it after passing out copies at my local chapter of "The
Church of Scientology".

Now on with the show!            (special thanks to otopico@dto.net)

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NEW NERF(tm) AD CAMPAIGN

(clear sky; green grass; sounds of children; slide down from 
 clouds to children playing football)
(cute 14 year old boy brushes aside his dusty hair as the camera
 pulls away. He screams: "10 22 HUT HUT")
(*cut* to the space shuttle engines firing as the shuttle
 begins another routine takeoff)
(*cut* dusty hair boy drops back as one of his friends goes out
 for a long bomb. You can clearly see the Nerf(tm) logo on the
 ball in his hand.)
(*cut* space shuttle leaving launch pad and taking off)
(*cut* *tight zoom* on ball then zooming out quickly as the boy
 throws the ball down-field)
(*cut* the shuttle flying against the sky)
(*cut* the ball spinning against the sky)
(*cut* space shuttle flying against the sky)
(*cut* the ball spinning against the sky)
(*cut* space shuttle catching fire)
(*cut* ball starting it's descent)
(*cut* space shuttle exploding)
(*cut* ball landing into boys hands as the pass reaches him. Boy
 smiles. *spin around* see dusty haired boy smiling as well)
(*cut* *all black* nothing but the words "NERF" on screen. Then
 a voice over begins as the words appear:
 "Don't you wish everything was made of Nerf(tm)? *fade*)

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Sally Ride, MR. T, and John Tesh walk into a bar. The barkeep
says, "Hey MR. T, Johnnie and lil ol' Sally." He then shoots
John Tesh and Sally Ride. He serves MR. T a screwdriver.

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What did the Space Shuttle Columbia say when the Space Shuttle
Challenger blew up?

NOT IT.

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What did Sally RIdEz Husband say when the space shuttle blew up?

*OHHH* PRETTY.

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How many astronauts does it take to blow up a space shuttle?

Seven. Six to do it and one to fuck the roo.

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How many tacos does it take to feed the Challenger crew?

Zero. THEY ARE ALL DEAD; HELLO?!?!?!.

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(http://comedy.clari.net/rhf/jokes/88q3/16840.12.html)
   
   Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on
   Challenger?
   A: They didn't know it was going to blow up.

   Q: Did you know that Christa McAuliffe was blue eyed?
   A: One blew left and one blew right.
   
   Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words?
   A: "What's this button do?"
   
   Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words to her husband?
   A: "You feed the kids - I'll feed the fish."

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First thought running through a student of Sally Ride:

"I sure hope this means no weekend homework."

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OVERHEARD AT MISSION CONTROL:
"Hey has anyone seen my new wrench?"

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John Stamos?

 Can someone please explain to me how KeYAN00 rEeHvEZ not only got
 off the bus while it was doing over 50mph but also managed to get
 like 380 gigs of data in his head? AND how the hell did he end up
 on a motorcycle out-running an atomic explosion?!?!@#

 That kicks ass.

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(http://shoga.wwa.com/~android7/jokes.htm)

   What subject did Christa MacAuliffe teach?
   Social studies . . . but now she's history.

   When's the next space shuttle launch?
   The fourth of July.

   What's the difference between the Patriots and the Challenger?
   The Patriots made it past Miami. 

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The Internet Sux (0007)                   (c) 1997 y (juuri@well.com)
All references URLs are (c) their respective authors, or something.

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