------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yolk: a young man, an infant , a yak... all living in sin ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yolk number four. well, as a tribute to our four-issue anniversary, i learned how to say "yolk number four" in 8 languages. isn't that great? well, on with the issue. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this paragraph is dedicated to epidemic, cuz he wants me to dedicate it to him ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- epidemic is on the phone with me. he says "hey stain, can you dedicate a y0lk paragraph to me? and i said "uh.. yeah." well just for you, i'm dedicating this paragraph. here ya go. YOU SUCK!!!! WHAT KIND OF LAME DORK WOULD WANT TO BE MENTIONED IN SUCH A STUPID MAGAZINE?!?!? GET A DAMN LIFE MAN, YOU TOTALLY SUCK!!! just between friends. a tribute to epidemic. he doesn't really suck... i just didn't know what kind of paragraph he wanted dedicated to him. bleh ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- oops! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- just a little editors note: in y0lk #3, i wrote over 100 lines without reminding the readers how much we suck. i also went on and wrote quite a few paragraphs with a purpose, about canada. i'd just like to apologize, it won't happen again. i fully regret straying from routine and acting like a real writer. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3y3 lUb j0o!@(#*(!@^*%!@(^*!#@^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- recently, the great mogel expressed some appoval of y0lk magazine. i'd just like to thank mogel for his moral support, and if you could all turn off your monitors for a moment of silence here... may mogel regain his sanity soon. in tribute, i'd like to do a mogel-ish HPA paragraph. actually i'm just doing it cuz i'm bored and i have some more space to fill. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- how to blow up the world ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HOW TO BLOW UP THE WORLD: author: stain ingredients: several nuclear bombs. add assorted date: 08/22/95 hallucinogens for mental stability. time: 2:45am EST and now.... HOW TO BLOW UP THE WORLD. instructions: please don't blow up the world... there are a lot of people out there who probably want to live. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- top 5000 reasons not to overestimate how long you can write countdown lists ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5000: i don't really think i need to explain this. 4999: if you don't understand this joke, look at the header again, read #5000 again, and think a little 4998: repeat if necessary. 4997: if you still don't get the joke, purchase a deadly weapon and destroy yourself. 4996: if you do get the joke, purchase a deadly weapon and destroy yourself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ace of base lyrics ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wE^aRE^aN^eLITE^tEXT^fILE^gR0OP^cUZ^wE^rELEASE^eLITE^lYRICS^fROM^aSS^oF^bASS! we are from sweden we acted like we were techno gods because we had a number one record, yeah, now everyone hates us pop rock lives on ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- let's review ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this issue, we humiliated epidemic, apologized for the last issue, paid tribute to mogel, instructed anarchists on destroying the world, gave our readers a direct order of suicide, and glorified a crappy swedish pop band. i think i deserve a nice pat on the back with a salami. thank you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- editor's note: i really should stop editing myself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- index of y0lk issues: ,s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s. $ issue $. title `$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $' 1 `$ the other white meat `$ $ 2 $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $ $ 3 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ $. 4 ,$ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' all issues by stain (so far)