---> so you say you like hasidism <---
                           y0lk issue #8 - by hooch

<---------<hasidism>-------------------------------------------------------->
hey, i love em. they dress funny, they got lotsa facial hair. how COULDN'T
you love hasidic jews?

<---------<sysops>---------------------------------------------------------->
well, that hasidism topic got old real quick. my real topic for this issue of
y0lk is, well, why are there so many damn sysops in this world we live in?
i'd say that more than 30% of bbs'ers are sysops, and more than 60% are/have
seriously considering being sysops in the near future. this sorta pisses me
off. so here's a requirement list for sysops:

(btw, YES, i'm a sysop. but i fulfill the requirements, so lick my grundel)

a] you must have some idea of why you're running your board, ie
      1. to get warez
      2. to get hpavc stuff
      3. to get art stuff
      4. to have GOOD messages
      5. i want porn

things that don't qualify as good reasons are the following:
      1. i want to say i'm a sysop
      2. i want porn
      3. i want to see if people can connect with my 300 baud modem
      4. etc..

b] you must have a decent hardware setup, ie
      1. 386dx or higher
      2. 4mb of ram or higher
      3. 14400 baud modem or higher
      4. non-2am software or better

i guess that's about it. things that don't qualify:
      1. MACINTOSH'S
      2. MACINTOSH'S
      3. MACINTOSH'S
      4. MACINTOSH'S
      5. MACINTOSH'S
      6. MACINTOSH'S
      7. MACINTOSH'S
      8. MACINTOSH'S

c] you must NOT be an idiot. people that talk like rodney kind don't qualify.

i guess that's about it. if you qualify for all of these categories, i guess
you're set. but really think about being a sysop. will you be able to have
your phone line tied up ALL day, 24/7? cuz if you can't, it's not worth it
to have an `hours' board. will you want to take down your board for half the
day so you can trade warez? if so, then setting up a bbs is probably not such
a good idea.

<---------<hasidism>-------------------------------------------------------->
they doven, isn't that cute?

<---------<clothes>--------------------------------------------------------->
btw, if you're doing that whole clothes-stripping-thing, don't be afraid to
send your clothes and that picture to me at:

heywood jablowme
666 i_can't_think_of_a_good_address, terrace

no city or state or zip code is necessary, they'll know exactly where to send
the package with just that on it.

<---------<offended>-------------------------------------------------------->
if you've been offended by the whole hacidic jew part of this text, don't be.
i have nothing against jews, really. technically, i'm jewish. but i don't
like to tell anybody that, it makes me look like an idiot.

<---------<offended(cont.)>------------------------------------------------->
that was a joke.

<---------<y0lk_sites!>----------------------------------------------------->
yes, y0lk has a world-head-quarters, where you can download all of the y0lk
releases, as well as talk to creed and hooch, the only two known writers [and
readers] of y0lk! call 201-762-1373, erebus, and in your new user feedback,
mention y0lk, and you'll instantly be validated.

now, if you're a steady y0lk reader (not that you'd admit it publically),
you'll probably be thinking to yourself, 'hey, in the last issue of y0lk,
right before i took off all my clothes and mailed them, i remember reading
something about the whq's number being 201-762-1375!' well, that's because
creed messed up. so, here, again, is the whq's, erebus's, number:

201-762-1373 [two ringdown nodes]

shameless plugs, they keep on coming.


<---------<editor's comment>-------------------------------------------->
if you have ever engaged in sexual intercourse through a hole in a sheet,
please do not read this.    -creed
<---------<index!!>----------------------------------------------------->

index of y0lk issues:

,s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $.                       title                                     `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$'  1  `$ the other white meat                                             `$
$   2   $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$   3   $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.                     $
$   4   $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin                $
$   5   $ household uses for afghanistanian food                            $
$   6   $ pour cement down my anus                                          $
$   7   $ hail santa!                                                       $
$.  8  ,$ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?                   ,$
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'

issues 1-5 and 7 by creed (stain)
issues 6 and 8 by hooch

note: if you have written an issue, you are a y0lk member, have a y0lk member
      board, etc.  woo.