þßÛÛÜ ßÛÜÜþ ²ÛÛß ßÛÛÜ ²ÛÝ ÞÛÛ Üþ ²ÛÛß ÞÛÝ ÞÛÝ Þ²ß ÜÛÛß ÞÛÛ ÜÜ þ ÜÜ ÞÛÝ ÞÛÛ Üþß ²ÛÛÝ ÞÛÝ ÜÛÛß ßÛÛÜ ÞÛÝ ÛÛÛß ÞÛÛÛ ÞÛÝÞÛÛÝ ²ÛÛÝ ÛÛ ²Û ßþÜÜ ²ÛÛÛ ÞÛ ²ÛÛ ÞÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÝ ßÛÛÜ ÞÛÛÛÝ ²Û ÞÛÛ ÛÛÛÝ ²Û ÞÛÝ ÞÛÛÝ ßÛÛÛÜÜ ÛÝ ßÛÝ ÞÛÛß ÞÛÝ ÞÛÜ ²ÛÛ ²ÜÜ ßß þ Û ßþ Ü þßß þÛß ßþ ÞÛÛß ÞÛÛÝ ÞÝ ßß ßÛÛÜ Üþß ramblings of a poseur. ßß ---( h3aderz r0ol! )--------------------------------------------------------- don't they tho? this is me, bEdlAM... i know, i haven't written for a long time, basically cuz i babble so much in school that when i go to write an issue, i'm all babbled out i think... and i can't really write down what i babbled about in school cuz well, you would've had to be there... if i wrote it all down you'd be like "i must've had to have been there" and i would've magically replied "yeah i guess so"... wow... am i babbling? cool i found the secret... i have to write them before school like i am now. i'm sitting here waiting for my chum Marty. he'll be here soon, then i'll be off.. but for now, i have a few minutes --- ( yikes! )--------------------------------------------------------------- you know, i actually say yikes. i do. like when something happens and surprises me, i go 'yikes!'... it's scary, cuz its not a word that most high schoolers use in everyday language. but i do, so what. dont make fun, you probably have a word that you say that nobody else says. yeah. --- ( floogenheim! )--------------------------------------------------------- like that. you know, i was REALLY thirsty the other day, and we had NOTHING in the house to drink... not even milk... and i really don't like water... so i got really pissed off, and i found some stuff that you make iced tea with... so i got all excited and missed the show i was watching (i think seinfeld).. cuz i was so into making iced tea... cuz first you had to like boil water, then mix it with this stuff from the package, then stir, blah blah... well anyway, i'm reading the instructions and it says 'add lemon for flavor' and i'm like oh cool... so i go "mom, do we have like, lemon juice or something?" cuz i know we don't have lemons in the house. then i look into the fruit bowl and what do i spy? A LEMON. that's right, we had a lemon. what the hell possessed my mother to have ONE LEMON in the house. so i asked her, and she said that she just thought she might want to use a lemon. i didn't believe her. i accused her of sucking lemons in her spare time, but she denied it. but i know the truth. anyway, i put the lemon in the iced tea, then put lots of ice and sugar in it and put it in the fridge for a few minutes.. i was SOOOO thirsty... and then i poured a nice tall glass of it, all ready to quench my thirst. you know what? i drank half of it and it tasted nasty and dried my mouth out of all its natural fluids. so it was pointless. life. ---( lemons are cool )------------------------------------------------------- aren't they tho? yeah. whoa, time warp.. its after school now.. dont you hate when you're writing a y0lk issue, and your friend marty gets to your house to pick you up and you don't have time to finish it? ---( whatever, geek )-------------------------------------------------------- you know what is the absolute best movie in the world? UHF. If you've never seen it, you're a freak. stop reading this, and go rent it. it's got wierd al yankovic (sp?) in it... and michael richards (kramer) from seinfeld. kramer rules. in uhf, he's like this janitor.. and he did this big speech about how life is like a mOp. mOp is cool. kramer and mOp are my two favorite things, so UHF is the best. and this guy bob the janitor is cool too, so since kramer is a janitor with a mOp, i love UHF... billy madison was good too. although unlike uhf, they swore unnecessarily in it. ---( what are you, some anti-swearing guy? )--------------------------------- fuck no. but when a movie is funny without the swearing and then they swear in it, it ruins it. some movies are only funny because of all the swearing. but see, UHF didn't swear any worse than "these floors are dirty as HELL, and i'm not gonna take it any more!"... a great family movie.. you can show it to your 5 year old cousin and he'll think its funny and won't go swearing at your mom. billy madison was great, but they kept swearing, and it really wasn't necessary... i dunno, it's stupid. ---( now i see why you don't write many y0lks )------------------------------ shut up. who is my idol you ask? DANNY BONADUCE. if you don't know who he is, it's that redhead kid on the partridge family. he's like 30 something now, and he beat up a transvestite, and boxed with donny osman, and wrestled with christopher knight (bobby brady), and fought this guy john kelly, who is just some dork who's like an anchorman or something... but he kicked danny's ass cuz he's big and tough, and danny's this 5'4" redhead italian guy. so you can see why he had to fight all these guys. any short redheaded italian has got something to prove. oh yeah, danny also has that talk show on NBC called "Danny!" you've seen it i know. and he's got a radio show here in chicago too. i'm listening to it right now. he says that carnie wilson (the fat bitch from wilson phillips who also has a talk show) shouldn't be doing an excersise video cuz she's so fat, and some guy got mad at him for that. duh... who's gonna pay money for an excersise video from a fat singing talk show host? of course people like richard simmons, so who knows. ---( danny rules )----------------------------------------------------------- i know. if you call my board (lan's laughter 708-749-9621 blatant plug) and say that, you'll get instant access even if you promise to take the board down and report me to the spa and the fbi and cia and other 3-letter abbreviations. did you ever say something that you were thinking out loud when you really didn't want to? my friend was high and he was babbling about something or other and he goes 'i shit my pants' and then kept talking. i was amused. ---( are you done yet? )----------------------------------------------------- not quite. i think everyone should go to a green day concert and shoot them. actually, i'd rather you kill weezer first. then michael jackson. then green day. yeah. ph3ar the header. ---( editor in da haus )----------------------------------------------------- that was a pretty neat issue. satan is my master. and that header kicks ass. ---( index )----------------------------------------------------------------- .s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s. $ ## $ title $ author $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $ $ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $ $ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $ $ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $ $ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $ $ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $ $ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $ $ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $ $ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $ $ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $ $ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $ $ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $ $ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $ $ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $ $ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $ $ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $ $ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $ $ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $ $ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $ $ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $ $ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $ $ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $ $ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $ $ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $ $ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $ $ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $ $ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $ $ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $ $ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $ $ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $ $ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $ $ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $ `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et cetera. woog. mindcrime is an official y0lk member.