-handle Right now I'm gonna write something that is totally not in the style of RAD because I feel like writing something different. Something that dives into my inner soul and reveals my inner psych to the masses, but looking into my soul I have discovered that I don't have one. Don't get me wrong I haven't sold it to the devil or anything... I think. Oh well maybe I did but I was probably lacking sleep at the moment. See I did it again, I've been masking my true feelings with humor for so long that I don't have any anymore. At first I was kind of pist but then I realized that my lack of soul would ultimately aid in my becoming dictator and ruling this ball of mud we call home. Eventually though I guess that the realization of me not becoming dictator will make me go insane or something. Oh well, everyones got to have a dream. Mine just happens to be the thing that has shaped my life over the past few years and is ultimately the excuse I use for many of my unexplainable actions. Not to other people of course but to my self. "Stop it a great world leader wouldn't act like that." "It's good that you don't have anything that actually means something to you. This way when you become dictator you won't have any remorse." When I was a small child I masked my emotions because I simply wasn't strong enough to deal with them. I was constantly under the pressure of having to prove myself no matter what I was doing. Even now I have no ability whatsoever to actually write about what I feel. Now how the hell am I supposed to write songs about my angst and be in an alternative band? I think that Mercuri has also been through a similar situation, but he's even farther into it than me. I've never seen him write something that was actually true to him. Or maybe he isn't like that and I should really speak for myself. Or maybe I'm not making any sense at all and I'll just delete this like I have every other file I've ever written during one of my little emotional spats. The latter is probably the solution as to why I'm writing this piece of crap, well fuck it even though I've deleted all of the others I'm gonna finish it. Even if I don't delete it it's not going into RAD because it's not our style, maybe I should have Merc submit it to another zine for me. Maybe I just don't feel the meaning anymore afterwords because I have to write it down just to get it out of my system. Even now I'm not getting out what I'm truly feeling, I'm just not capable of doing it anymore. If I ever was. Damn it's a good thing I don't write for DTO. --(y0lk)----------------------------------------------------------------------- uhm, thanks!@ that was good. let's all thank handle for contributing some of his genius to this zine. yep. --(index/stuff)---------------------------------------------------------------- .d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b. $ ## $ title $ author $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $ $ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $ $ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $ $ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $ $ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $ $ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $ $ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $ $ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $ $ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $ $ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $ $ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $ $ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $ $ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $ $ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $ $ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $ $ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $ $ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $ $ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $ $ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $ $ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $ $ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $ $ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $ $ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $ $ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $ $ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $ $ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $ $ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $ $ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $ $ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $ $ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $ $ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $ $ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $ $ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $ $ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $ $ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $ $ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $ $ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $ $ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $ $ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $ $ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $ $ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $ $ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $ $ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $ $ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue $ phorce $ $ 45 $ your burro is no jackass! $ creed $ $ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars $ creed $ $ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers $ creed $ $ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed $ $ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life $ creed $ $ 50 $ the best of the worst $ creed $ $ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave $ trip $ $ 52 $ ode to my feet $ creed $ $ 53 $ hopelessly lost $ poots $ $ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!# $ phorce $ $ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death $ creed $ $ 56 $ dead cats $ juke $ $ 57 $ my inner taco $ handle $ "T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T" --(infoez)--------------------------------------------------------------------- if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et cetera. hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk. phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware! mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz he's just so damn wacky-ass. tal meta is one smooth brotha. email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep. to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /pub/ftp/phorce/y0lk