=--> y0lk test pattern <--=
                                                     by mutter

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ummm...this y0lk is gonna suck. So the kind people of y0lk might see how
much it sucks, decide to deny any knowledge of this issue, do
their best to erase it from any and all records and kill anyone that
knows of it's existence ...but we know better, don't we? The truth cannot
be suppressed any longer! extraterrestrials are real and living in my
backyard. 1984 is now, mutha' fucka.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 y0lk thoughts -- a poem
 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
y0lk, you are the first thing i want to see in the morning
and the last when i pass out at night
You are like a fresh, new comedian
who's bombing on stage
but not really since people are laughing
but they are laughing at you...not with you.
but any laughter is good laughter, right?
no?? umm...then who cares what they think...BASTARDS!@#
THEY WILL ALL CRUMBLE BENEATH THE MIGHTY y0lk!@#
THE WAR HAS BEGUN!

                    -- anonymous


okay, that's what those of us in AA call an "icebreaker".

-------<get on with the issue already>----------------------------------------

I think those messages are supposed to indicate the voice of y0lk or
something. Maybe the voice of God...maybe one of my many schizophrenic
personalities. I have many personalities...but they're all identical
so it gets kinda confusing.

-------<PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!>----------------------

w00...a wizard of oz reference. That movie was pretty cool. It's about
this chick that took too much nutmeg and started seeing wild shit. I
dunno...i really never got the wizard of oz. It musta been pretty cool
when it came out. Ya know, going to the movies and seeing color for the
first time. Of course some little fucker would probably get to you
before then and blow it for you.

    "...the best part is when she opens the door and it's all in
    COLOR@!#"

    "You fucker. You ruined the best part."

life's like that.

------------<you bore me like a mutha'>---------------------------------------

Who the fuck are you to judge me? Who the fuck ARE you? Shut the hell up
until you can tell me who you are, and how your messages keep appearing
on my screen.

------------------<my name is jim, and its a secret>--------------------------

uh huh.

Another cool thing about the wiz--

----<i like long walks on the beach, holding hands under the sta-- >----------

okay, shut the fuck up, mutha'bitch.

---------------------<tee hee>------------------------------------------------

As I was saying...a cool thing about that movie is in one scene you are
supposedly able to see a munchkin hanging himself in the background! How
funny is that?! A fucking munchkin goes bouncing up and down on a rope
in the background. Oh, jeez. Don't believe me? I've never seen it but
they tell me you are able to see him bounce down (very blurry) in the
background of somewhere around where the witch throws a fireball at the
scarecrow. gotta love those midgets.

----------<that's like that dead kid in three men and a baby>-----------------

Jim, don't even get me started. That was such a publicity stunt it's not
even funny...

-----------------<ya never know>----------------------------------------------

yuppers. I love midgets. Especially when they are screaming and jumping
up and down.  You hafta picture it...then you'd see what i mean.
woo00oo.  A lotta things I think are funny you hafta picture in your
mind.

-----------< ya mean like a midget eating a cantaloupe?>----------------------

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@# You got the secret word for today:
                    Cantaloupe!!
                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^
woooooo0000000ooooooo0000000ooooo00000oooo!!

Anyone remember pee-wee's playhouse? That show was fucked up...

--------<connect the dots...La la la la!@>------------------------------------

But, alas, pee-wee did something that kinda destroyed his career as
Saturday morn's most annoying TV personality and, well, that was that.

Last I saw he was a vampire in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

----------< >shudder< >-------------------------------------------------------

yea. life's like that.

Oh well, jim, thanks for being here tonight.

-------------< no prob >------------------------------------------------------

We didn't get to everything I wanted to but, hey, we covered a hell of a
lot like:
            - y0lk thoughts
            - the wizard of oz review for the mentally disturbed
            - jim
            - midgets
            - pee-wee : the story of greatness
            - the social-economic problems of Russia (look carefully)
            - dead kids
            - cantaloupes

We didn't have time for tonight:

            - stupid pet tricks
            - review of 'clerks'
            - women who want to be men who want to be women
            - mutter's guide to obscene hand gestures

Oh well...maybe next time.

NOW!!>>>> Print up 20 copies of this y0lk and distribute them to homeless
                  men in your community !!

--[head-samurai-notes#!]------------------------------------------------------

        *i* sure do love mutter.  he's eleet.  he's in p201.  thank you,
mutter <mutter@erebus.magsystems.com> for that.

--(edit0rz el8 k0mm3ntz)------------------------------------------------------

        wow, like, our member list has practically tripled since #50.  new
guys this way and that.  well.  neato.  if you're an avid y0lk fan like you
know you are, always feel free to get in touch with us.  contacts are just
below the index thingie.

--(index)---------------------------------------------------------------------

.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $                            title                            $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat                                       $ creed   $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed   $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.              $ creed   $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin         $ creed   $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food                     $ creed   $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus                                   $ hooch   $
$ 07 $ hail santa!                                                $ creed   $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?             $ hooch   $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock.                                           $ creed   $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam                                        $ bedlam  $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview             $ hooch   $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta]       $ hooch   $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@            $ hooch   $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink                            $ phorce  $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness                                 $ creed   $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina     $ creed   $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you?                            $ hooch   $
$ 18 $ lemmings                                                   $ phorce  $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology                                   $ belial  $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene     $ cd/h0   $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!?                                           $ phorce  $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself                  $ creed   $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale                                     $ phorce  $
$ 24 $ group masturbation                                         $ belial  $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs             $ creed   $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet                               $ phorce  $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause                                         $ belial  $
$ 28 $ the army day camp                                          $ belial  $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day             $ creed   $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings                     $ hooch   $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver!                                 $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur                                      $ bedlam  $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan                            $ creed   $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines                   $ hooch   $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears                                 $ phorce  $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't                           $ creed   $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate           $ creed   $
$ 38 $ snowday                                                    $ phorce  $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d                                               $ creed   $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth                             $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue              $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet                                     $ hooch   $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods!  from yonder cometh y0lk!                $ creed   $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue        $ phorce  $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass!                                  $ creed   $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars                  $ creed   $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers             $ creed   $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed   $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life      $ creed   $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst                                      $ creed   $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave          $ trip    $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet                                             $ creed   $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost                                            $ poots   $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!#                                      $ phorce  $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death               $ creed   $
$ 56 $ dead cats                                                  $ juke    $
$ 57 $ my inner taco                                              $ handle  $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours?                                        $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money               $ lumpy   $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant                       $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road?                        $ insane  $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern                                          $ mutter  $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"

--(infoez)---------------------------------------------------------------------

     if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not.  if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.

phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!  beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz he's just so damn wacky-ass.
creed is god.  get used to it.

email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me.  yep.

to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /pub/ftp/phorce/y0lk

or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373.  k-rad.