--(y0lk #94)-----------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk #94: spinsane's story
--(phear it)-----------------------------------------------------------------

I have a nice story to tell...  Its fairly boring, and its
definately pointless.  It fits in with y0lk well. Phear it.
Notice there are no dividers in this text. Thats because I'm 
elite.
I choose not to use dividers.. instead, I use little penises, 
penii if you will... pointed at a disco dancer. Sure, you 
_could_ say that is a divider, but then I'd call you a l4m3r 
w4nn4b3 31337 h4X0r and beat your ass..
no i wouldn't.. I'm lame.
I'd get mad though.

Maybe. If I was tired, I'd hit my computer.

If I was drunk, I could yell "jOO FucKiNG commiE bAShhhstad.." 
and throw my bottle of Jim Beam at the computer screen, 
breaking the bottle into a thousand pieces of elite glass.

8=====/o/========|)\o_    <---- kn0t a 0 day divider!!@#!@
      < >          <\                                    

I see how these y0lk guys do it.. This is easier than my sister
(who BTW, I am willing to trade for phat ansis and/or kr3d1t5 
for warez. Mail me  carne@cas.usf.edu )

I thought I had a story to tell... But I decided against it.
Why waste my k-kool story of computer espionage, high powered 
weapons and kinky, leather bound sex for this issue of y0lk? I 
almost have enough of this bullshit to get release as an elito
debut in y0lk.

You have to love the y0lk crew, we're an honest bunch. 
Well, I am at least. I'm letting you know that this is total 
crap.  Hooch would say it wasn't, steal all your money and 
cough a big wad of phlegm at you. =)
                      
8========\O>======|) _@/  <--- that one has an elite head
         />          <\                                  

pHEAR oR nOT tO pHEAR.. tHAT iS sOMETHING iRRELEVANT..

um.. damn, this is like 39 lines already. phat.

I've noticed that a large ammount of #ansi banditos are ravers.
This is a good thing. Ravers are cool. Because we promote a 
promiscuos lifestyle, filled with drugs, cute little easy 
chicks and dancing under the influence of ecstacy. If you are 
a self-professed druggie, and haven't done ecstacy, you're 
missing out. It is by far the best drug out there. It roXors.

I like "Interactive" Porno games. I have an 80 meg HDD, nO 
cd-rom, 4 megs of ram and a key board with a broken enter key, 
so its hard for me to use any of them. BUT! I just got one 
called "Interactive Gerls: Teresa" or something. 

Boy. Its a really lame "game". Let me explain the plot.
Teresa comes to your house.
The only option you have is to take her coat.
Then you have a conversation.
The only question you can ask her that leads anywhere is "Do 
        phear my 0-d4y p0rn0 m0vi3z?" (or something).
She then fingers herself (this is a good part)
Then she showers, and you pick 3 gifts for her out of a whopping
        7 total!!!! Yes! 7 TOTAL GIFTS AT YOUR DISPOSAL!! pHEEL
        THE INTERACTIVITY@!@#$@$!@
Then something else happens.
(get the hand lotion ready now)
You give her the gifts. And she either turns you down or 
        fuxors you.

Thats it.

exit the realm of the 0-d4y p0rn0 g4m3

8=========/o>=====|) _0>   <-- this one is wearing sunglasses
          /\         <\   

Thats about all I can think of.
I wish I was as cool as hooch (h00ch i mean), or creed. 
They're funny.
I just whack out to the Jetsons. DawT3r jOOd-3!#!@ jAne the 
whore..<cool theme music>.

Are there any good cartoons on now days? I haven't watched 
them in like years. But back in the day, Transformers, and 
MASK were tearing shit up. Now its just .. hmm.. I dunnno.. I 
can't even name a cartoon now. Maybe like, porno cartoons.. 
those rock. Fritz the Cat is cool. He's 0 Day cool. Everyone 
should join channel #fritz and change there nicks to fritz1, 
fritz2, etc.. and go spread the word of pOrnOgraphy.

eye yam out of skewl.
phear

What else.... hmmm... If I was a robot.. I think I'd have cool 
buzzsaws for hands. That way I could go up to people and cut 
em up. And I could rob payphones, and ph34x0r. And I could cut 
cheese logs, and throw them at people. No wait, i couldn't 
throw them at people. I need opposable thumbs AND buzzsaws.. 
then I could whack off and throw stuff...

QUESTIONS FOR THE ELITE... A SERIES

Do robots jizz motor oil.

Why is it that eyes in pictures are always looking at me?

Is my 2 inch erect penis really normal, or is my mom playing
        with my head?

Why are other people's sisters always fine. And 10 years old.

How come weiner dogs are so cool? Is it because they have 
        weiner in there names? Or because they trade warez?

How come I write such pointless, stupid shit, although I'm 17 
        and should have much more maturity than this?

How come at night, I hear aliens in my head fighting?

Is that normal?

If you get that too, email me...

8==================|) +sss%%%SSSSS$$$$$$$
                             '""""Q$$$$$$  <-semen

So long from spinsane. catch me in #ewok

--(muhuhahaha)---------------------------------------------------------------

so much for little spinsane's plans of having no dividers in his issue.

phear me.  i break *all* the rules.  i'm such a rebel.

--(index)--------------------------------------------------------------------

.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $                            title                           $ author  $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat                                       $ creed   $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed   $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.              $ creed   $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin         $ creed   $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food                     $ creed   $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus                                   $ hooch   $
$ 07 $ hail santa!                                                $ creed   $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?             $ hooch   $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock.                                           $ creed   $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam                                        $ bedlam  $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview             $ hooch   $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta]       $ hooch   $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@            $ hooch   $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink                            $ phorce  $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness                                 $ creed   $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina     $ creed   $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you?                            $ hooch   $
$ 18 $ lemmings                                                   $ phorce  $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology                                   $ belial  $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene     $ cd/h0   $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!?                                           $ phorce  $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself                  $ creed   $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale                                     $ phorce  $
$ 24 $ group masturbation                                         $ belial  $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs             $ creed   $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet                               $ phorce  $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause                                         $ belial  $
$ 28 $ the army day camp                                          $ belial  $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day             $ creed   $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings                     $ hooch   $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver!                                 $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur                                      $ bedlam  $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan                            $ creed   $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines                   $ hooch   $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears                                 $ phorce  $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't                           $ creed   $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate           $ creed   $
$ 38 $ snowday                                                    $ phorce  $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d                                               $ creed   $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth                             $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue              $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet                                     $ hooch   $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods!  from yonder cometh y0lk!                $ creed   $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue        $ phorce  $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass!                                  $ creed   $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars                  $ creed   $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers             $ creed   $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed   $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life      $ creed   $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst                                      $ creed   $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave          $ trip    $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet                                             $ creed   $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost                                            $ poots   $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!#                                      $ phorce  $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death               $ creed   $
$ 56 $ dead cats                                                  $ juke    $
$ 57 $ my inner taco                                              $ handle  $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours?                                        $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money               $ lumpy   $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant                       $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road?                        $ insane  $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern                                          $ mutter  $
$ 63 $ ELiTE LiT from the master himself                          $ creed   $
$ 64 $ creed's k-rad lit archives, volume two                     $ creed   $
$ 65 $ UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. $ creed   $
$ 66 $ how y0lk saved my life (sorta)                             $ creed   $
$ 67 $ shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles             $ ideal   $
$ 68 $ some puppet plays                                          $ phorce  $
$ 69 $ "... Hello operator ..."                                   $ mutter  $
$ 70 $ i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding.                  $ traq    $
$ 71 $ battle of the ants                                         $ rage    $
$ 72 $ fun on the phone                                           $ ideal   $
$ 73 $ yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries..$ handle  $ 
$ 74 $ i love you as my own mother                                $ sphrog  $
$ 75 $ jamesy and the giant slinky                                $ jamesy  $
$ 76 $ do not fuck with the big and hairy bears                   $ murmur  $
$ 77 $ horror story                                               $ oeb     $
$ 78 $ dat wh0re                                                  $ s.sheep $
$ 79 $ the ewok rant                                              $ taraxis $
$ 80 $ the arcade avenger                                         $ tao     $
$ 81 $ the night before 2600                                      $ d.cheez $
$ 82 $ journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist     $ taraxis $
$ 83 $ a generic y0lk file                                        $ mogel   $
$ 84 $ cultural inclination?                                      $ m.head  $
$ 85 $ australia through the eyes of a spoon                      $ spoony  $
$ 86 $ the life of a demented sysop                               $ spoony  $
$ 87 $ little johnny carpenter                                    $ franman $
$ 88 $ phan male                                                  $ ideal   $
$ 89 $ bighurt is back!#                                          $ bighurt $
$ 90 $ the discovery channel                                      $ sphrog  $
$ 91 $ fruitopia caps!@#$                                         $ bighurt $
$ 92 $ the story of carla                                         $ TRIP    $
$ 93 $ a joltcola y0lk                                            $ joltcola$
$ 94 $ spinsane's story                                           $ spinsane$
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"

-=[infoez]=------------------------------------------------------------------

     if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not.  if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.

phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!@  beware!#
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
mindcrime is a crazed oriental looking for revenge.
[clarification: mindcrime may actually be a y0lk member.  no one knows.]
heil creed.  <HEIL!#  HEIL!#>

to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp://ftp.openix.com/ftp/phorce/y0lk

or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373.  k-rad.

*or*... look for "y0lkb0t" on irc, efnet.  type "@y0lk (number)" for y0lks.

_OR_... ATTENTION y0lkies!#  join the y0lk mailing list!#  chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too!#  email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
"subscribe y0lk" in the body of the message.

OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isn't that special? join y0lknet too.  thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@

OR!# coming soon!  micro radio!#  a y0lk hour-of-fun ON THE AIR!#
(sorry, available only for those in the northern new jersey area.)

don't you feel like you're getting a little too much information here?
couldn't we just show our ftp site and shut up?  it's just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this.  what a bunch of losers we are.

this issue by spinsane (carne@cas.usf.edu).