------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #@! Y E L L O W !@# #@! J O U R N A L !@# Yellow Journal is produced by John Mitchell (Big Hurt) whenever I feel like putting them out. Yellow Journal Issue Number is released on March 10, 1996. All rights reserved by John Mitchell copyright 1996. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - "what have i become? my sweetest friend everyone i know goes away in the end you could have it all my empire of dirt i will let you down i will make you hurt" - trent reznor, nine inch nails --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - yellow journal contents 01. the big hello to ya'll 02. what this text zine is about 03. language 04. little kids 05. anayzle 'hurt' 06. motivation speakers 07. glycerine by bush 08. baseball 09. ozzy concert, part 1 10. pornos 11. ozzy concert, part 2 12. weird concert stories 13. little tommy 14. march 3 day 15. ozzy concert, part 3 16. my bday 17. name the band 18. closer by nine inch nails 19. school 20. sometimes life sucks 21. oh, me 22. ads 23. today 24. our theme song 25. childhood 26. caught in a park 27. american dream 28. nine inch nails uses 29. y0lk 30. submit articles 31. in a jam 32. computer class 33. dto 34. erections 35. a joke 36. ques in turbo pascal 37. centennial baseball 38. heaven and hell come to earth 39. gotta jet --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 01 (the big hello to ya'll) well i thought i would start a text zine. so here it is. and i just wanted to say hello to all of you before i got into the big bull crap story of what i'm doing here with the text zine and all that blah blah blah stuff you probably dont really care about. before i get to far, i wanna greet a few people that i know. here it goes: hi trip, woolf, ashley, delta astro, shakespeare, freak, clark, misfit, belial, cerkit (yer such a wonderful guy!@), mogel (i dOnt phear u!@), kamikaze, balls wilson, my left nut (the girls really like sucking it!@), my mama (she funding my zine, with that big fifty cents she gave me fer lunch today!@), my daddy (he's pretty cool), and everyone else that i've talked to on the internet or on a bulletin board. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 02 (what this text zine is about) hmm. probably half you smucks out there are saying what this text zine is about and 2/3 of the other half dont really give a flying fuck. and the last of you are probably too busy wanky yer funky monkey right about now. well. if you like it or not, i'm still gonna tell what i'm doing here and why i write what i write. i'm a normal person. usually self contained and sometimes shy, espically when i first meet a person. but i'm not a total loser or anything. i dont speak that often, at least not when something that i dont really care about is being talked about. that is one reason i'm writing this. i talked about the things i wanna talk about and the things that come to my mind, while i'm sitting in this nice comfortable computer chair. also, some people might call me a dick, asshole, or their enenmy. cerkit can justify for this one. i really aint an asshole, i'm just your normal guy, but i go out and try to get people to view things in my way or a different way that they arent use to. and some people arent use to that, which you might call them narrow-minded. another reason i'm writing this crap in this text zine. i want the readers to learn or expand your minds. i know text zines are suppose to be phun and all. thats one reason i'm writing this thinger. but you have to expand your minds and get somewhere with your life. cause most of you are probably in high school, college, or just graduated from one of those. well, learning goes outside of the classroom and it as constant mental process. now go tell your mom this: woa!@ mommy, i just learned something new from this text zine called the yellow journal. then your mommy says 'what did you learn honey?' i learned that everything you do is a constant learning process. then your mommy says 'wow. your actually learning something these days. i am very proud of you. lets go get your something special.' well if you do this and she doesnt give you a reward for learning something new (like it really hurt you anyways) i'm not repsonsible for any actions carried out by your parents, espically your mommy. well some of you readers might be saying, that is the stupidist name in the world to pick for a e-zine. probably is, but i dont care, because it has some meaning to it. the most stupidist reason is because i write the text zine in turbo pascal 7.0 and the text is in yellow. and it is basically like a journal for me, tell express my feelings, thoughts, and anger. and the better reason and probably first reason is that there was some famous publication back in mid to late 1800's and/or early 1900's that had the title of 'yellow journal'. so i said to myself. woa!@ that sounds cool and the rest is history, cause you know what the name is and i dont have to repeat it again. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 03 (language) well. this zine might have a few bad words here and there. but i figure that i'm 17 and mature and responsible for my actions and can take the punishments or reactions that come with it. so i will continue to use the language that i use. i'm trying to cut back, but sometimes it is just fun to throw in a couple bad words here and there to spice up things. and some of the cuss words come with anger, disgust, and disrespect. i'm sorry if you dont like the language in here. but if you dont like it, then maybe reading the 'yellow journal' isnt the right thing for you to do at the time. come back when you can take it and maybe you are mature enough and can handle it. sorry if this causes you problems. but i figure most of the people that will reading this thing, dont really care, and use foul language in every other sentence if not every sentence. but that is not for me to judge. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 04 (little kids) i believe i was raised right. my parents did a good job. but i've learned things here and there, kids shouldnt do, but they do them anyways. so thats that. but i've seen kids start cussing at a younger age. disrepsecting there parents or elders. they cuss out peolpe. talk trash. beat up people just for the fun of it. and remember this is still at a young age, maybe lets say 7 or 8 to 10 or 12 years old. it is okay for a 12 year old, sometimes. but some kids i meet dont mature until there around 15 to 17. i probably matured early, like 13 or 14. this was probably because i was an only child and lived life hard and had to work for things that i wanted. and i still do. anyways. there are kids out there saying things to people that shouldnt be said. that even i wouldnt say or most people would. i know i never said those type of things like that at that age. and then sometimes those kids get their butts kicked in and they wonder why. because they are just plain out smart asses. simple as that. if some little punk ass kid came up to and thought he was all bad and started cussing me out and wanting to fight. then i would give him a fight. mess around with his mind for a little bit then beat the living shit out of him. to think that some of these kids, if they live through all of the ass kickings, will be our future. they will run our country. will our future in america go down the shitter and our country be ruined forever. will there be a turning back after that. only time will tell. but we can shape the countries future, by teaching these kids right from wrong and giving them a few beatings when they act like a ignorant fool. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 05 (anayzle 'hurt') i'm going to try to anaylze a song called 'hurt' written by trent reznor of nine inch nails. yes!#@ part of the song was write after the title part of the text zine. the part that was quoted at the beginning of the e-zine. here is the entire song 'hurt', line for line, in correct order. i hurt myself today to see if i still feel i focus on the pain the only thing that's real the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting try to kill it all away but i remember everything what have i become? my sweetest friend everyone i know goes away in the end you could have it all my empire of dirt i will let you down i will make you hurt i wear my crown of shit on my liar's chair full of broken thoughts i cannot repair beneath the stain of time the feeling disappears you are someone else i am still right here what have i become? my sweetest friend everyone i know goes away in the end you could have it all my empire of dirt i will let you down i will make you hurt if i could start again a million miles away i would keep myself i would find away woa!#@ that is some deep stuff. well at the beginning of the song, trent is talking about moving, maybe hurting his own self and taking his life, because of hurt, pain, agony, and mental toughnesses that have been brought apon him prior to him writing the song or things that he expirienced in his entire life prior to writing it. this we cant know, unless he comes out and tells us for his self. and it could still not be the truth. that is the amazing thing about life. then closer to the end he finally realizes that he can make a change, during around his life, go through the pain and one day over come not matter what it takes, besides elimnating himself. this songs shows what many people feel in their life. some over come the problem and some come theirselves. which isnt really good. cause you coudlnt read another 'yellow journal'. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 06 (motivation speakers) well, today we had an assembly. days before, i heard that we were having this thing. i heard there was going to be a speaker there. big woop!@ i wasnt happy happy joy joy or anything. but i was glad i was getting out of class and going with the a.m. assembly schedule. anyhow!@ this speaker looked like danny devito. and he even mentioned his own self looking like him. he was funny as hell and motivated you, by telling true to to life stories. he cared about teenagers and doesnt want the 'generation x' going down the drain. he says it only takes one person to make our generation different. that is true. but who will that person be. could it be you, your friend, my friend, or even me. maybe, maybe so. but something has to be done. that is one reason i try to take a serious side to this text zine, even though i know many people wont even read this text that i type on my computer. i express my feelings and thoughts and release them in this e-zine and hope that someone will read them and understand and change there life somehow. i guess you could compare me with this motivation speaker that came to my school today. i'm funny (sure whatever big hurt!@), i'm attractive (snap out of it, yer dreaming!#), and i try to get my point across. i try to tell true to life stories. things that matter. things that come to mind. but the person that will make the difference to our generation, 'generation x', is someone that is kind, cares for everyone, believes people can do things, a good speaker, is motivated and can motivate others, a dreamer, and someone that knows what needs to be done and takes charge a situation. we've seen this person come out of other generations. jackie robinson, martin lurther king, john f. kennedy, ronald reagan, and many others. and i believe that person will come along and i believe that person can be you, if you apply yourself to your dreams and goals and focus on the steps that will bring your closer to that big dream in the end. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 07 (glycerine by bush) yes, i'm putting a song by another band in here. i have my own band. we really dont have a name of yet. we have songs written by me, which i shall put in here someday down the road and maybe a few this issue, if feel that you've been a good little boy or girl. but here we go with the song. not like you really care, unless you fans of bush like me. i'm not the biggest. but on with the show. 'glycerine' by bush must be your skin that i'm sinking in must be for real cos now i can feel and i didn't mind it's not my kind not my time to wonder why everything's gone white and everything's grey now you're here now you're away i don't want this remember that i'll never forget where you're at don't let the days go by i'm never alone i'm alone all the time are you at one or do you lie we live in a wheel where everyone steals but when we rise it's like strawberry fields if i treated you bad you bruise my face couldn't love you more you got a beautiful taste don't let the days go by could have been easier on you i coudln't change though i wanted to could have been easier by three our old friend fear and you and me glycerine (repeat) don't let the days go by glycerine i needed you more when we want us less i could not kiss just regress it might just be clear simple and plain that's just fine that's just one of my names don't let the days go by could've been easier on you glycerine woa!@ try to understand it. actually, i believe he is talking about a relationship that he was in. but i cant say, since i'm not him or whoever wrote the song. i think gavin rossdale that lead singer wrote it, but take my word for this one. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 08 (baseball) okay. i sent my second letter to the arizona diamonbacks. yes the new baseball franchise in the city of phoenix in of course arizona. can we say a big duh!@ so i sent it on the 26th, but wrote it on the 25th and then go it back on march 1 and it was post dated the 28th and it was a hand written note. saying that he would send my letter on to the scouts along with my teams schedule. meaning that i might be playing in the pros some day. but i was thinking, why limit myself to just one team. i can send letters to all of the teams. its not like i'm signing a conctract, at least yet. so later this week or so. i'm going to start typing those letters out in my nice microsoft word version 6.0 and send them out in the mail when i get a chance and can bum a few stamps off people walking down the street. just to fucking bore you even more. i play pitcher, i have three different fastballs, different speeds of a curve ball, a hard slider, split finger, and nasty change-up. woo. be bored even more. i've pitched the most so far out my whole team and my name will be in a local paper, saying how good i will to the team or have a major impact on the team if i'm healthy and all that crap. i think you get the point. so that means we can move on to the next artcile. yes, be joyed, be relieved, and you deserve to be fucking happy, cause i said you can. and thats all you need to know. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 09 (ozzy concert, part 1) i'm going to the ozzy osbourne concert tonight. big deal. it will be my first concert. korn and the deftones are also playing with him. it should rock. and i cant wait until my baseball game is over so that i can get my ass home. get some grub. take a shower and get my ass over to my friends house, good around, and then leave for the concert that starts at 7:30 p.m. at the blockbuster desert sky somewhere in phoenix, arizona. i hope it is arizona, cause i know i wouldnt go out of state to just watch a concert. my mom would cut my guts out and eat them in front of me, if i even planned on going to a concert out of state. well, when i get back from the concert tonight. i shall feel you people in about how it went and my new expierences. and i cant wait until i get there to mosh my head off. which i just might do, if i ferget to attach it. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 10 (pornos) no. i'm not about to do a review on pornos. but more talk about it. let see i'm 17. i've gotten my hands on playboys since i was 12 or 13 and have seen a few penthouses of my friends. then i've seen so much porno pictures off of boards and the internet. it is so amazing how easy you can get access to them even when you are just a teenager and shouldnt be looking at them. i believe it is okay for adults and some mature teenagers to sneek a peek at naked women, if they so choose to uncover their body. since that was there choice in the first place and then allow a photographer to shoot it and then release it to the public. this may or may not be with the persons premission in the picture, but oh well, it is released and people see it. i believe just showing off posses and showing that they are sexy is alright. but when you get little kids of a tender age is totally wrong. i've seen many child pornos which just upsets me to see that they have had part in this act. but then there are animals fucking people. that is totally nasty. those people need lifes. then you also get these really nasty sexual intercourse pictures. i think some of these are okay. to maybe learn (like people would do that) or if you are an adult. but no people allow these type of material to get into teenagers hands and even younger kids hands. it is non-sense. i support in anyway stopping this. teenagers and kids should be having fun, not looking at pornos or naked people all day long and wacking off while watching them. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 11 (ozzy concert, part 2) well this will be a three part deal. at least at this time. i just got home from my baseball game, which my team won, by one run in the bottom of the 7th inning (teams only play 7 innings in high school). then i went out to eat lunch at arby's and had some grub. it was good. then i got home called my friend, paul. and asked him what is the deal with the concert. then we called up our other friends and they werent home. so i'm waiting for them to call me up or paul. but my friends wanted to leave for the concert at about 5 o'clock. i say leave later. and the concert starts at seven thirty. which means we would have a bunch of time to fuck around. also, i heard that korn has cancelled out for this showing. which really disappoints me, because i was looking forward to seeing them in concert. since i heard from a few people that they throw bloody things at concerts. which is pretty kewl. i probably woudlnt get it, since i have lawn sets, but i still would get to see some unlucky fuck probably get pegged with the things they throw. this brings me into the weird concert stories i've heard to date. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 12 (weird concert stories) okay. i've heard a few weird concert stories. not many. at least i will only tell you the ones that i can remember. since i'm get that disease that you forgot everything. fuck my life is already going down the j-jon. one story i heard was that there is this really satanic band that preforms and all that. there is a couple guys from the band that starting jerking off and slap there dicks across peoples faces and jizz all over them. that is pretty nasty. then i heard that they also threw buckets of blood on the fans. not sure if it is really blood, probably not, but still it could be. i'm not sure the name of this band, but i'll try to find it out from the person that told me first about what this band did on stage. then i heard there was some old person. might i have been one of the guys from the beatles or something like that. anyways. one of the guys took a shit on stage then picked that wet, smelly, fly infested, stink-up any toilet, piece of shit and chucked it in the crowd. now that is nasty. then there was the chick from white zombie that took out a tampon, which was apparently all bloody and dirty (who else knows what was on the thinger) and then waved it around and around and around and around and then heaved that bloody baby into the stupid fuckheads and hit someone. trent reznor the lead singer of nin, goes to concerts drunk, with a big beer bottles in one hand, the guitar in the other and spits beer on to the crowd and then throws the beer bottle at the crowd. that is one cool fucker. while i'm speaking about mr. reznor, i heard when marilyn manson was going on tour with nin, on the self destruct tour. that the lead singer of marilyn manson gave trent a blow job right there on stage in front of everyone. then i heard that trent was moanin and breathing hard. those are all the things that i can remember of at least the weird shit that has happened from the peformers of the concerts. tonite should be a new expierence for me and i will see different things, like people getting there bodies smashed in the mosh pits all over the lawn areas. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 13 (little tommy) this story will have material that may not be suitable for younger viewers or unmature readers. so please cover there eyes or dont let them read this article. it isnt my fault if you somehow start doing things that are in here. so let the phun all begin!@ one night little tommy was sitting on his bed, thinking of things to do. so he flipped on the television set and decided to get ride of his boredem he would watch a few hours of tv. so he did. he kept on flipping through the stations and still coudlnt find anything good. but it happened like that. he saw them. they where sitting right in front of him. nice and firm. he found the playboy channel. and he found his first stiffy. he found it so well it managed to end up in his left hand. and it just happened that he also had some hand lotion next to the foot of his bed and ending up slapping some of that stuff on his eight inch pecker and rubbed it all up. so it was nice and lubricated. the women on the playboy channel where still bouncing up and down, having fun. doing there own thing, while tommy was doing his own thing. he was enjoying himself, when all of sudden, he started screaming and giving out deep moans like he was in trouble. but he was actually enjoying himself even more than a few seconds before. he cared this on for a good six minutes while still watching pamela anderson and anna nicole smith finger each other. when he saw that, he decided he would invade his own little pooper whole. but was stopped when you he releasied that he couldnt get a whole through his underwear. so he stopped with that and then let go of his ding-dong and zipped up his pants. i guess you could say that he wasnt bored anymore. but more satisfied with what he did accomplish. he found a new sport and something to do in his spare time. he found something to do when his girl dumps him or stops putting out. *** editor's note: little tommy is really 16 and mature teenager. you shouldnt do these things, unless your really lame and cant get any. if anyone every finds out. say that you didnt learn from this e-zine and deny even having your pecker in the palm of your rosie hand. even though if they catch you red handed. have fun and enjoy!@ --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 14 (march 3 day) the best day for me is march 3. it is a day of rejoyce. a day of joy. a day of fun in the sun. a day of letting things go by. and day of just kicking back and doing whatever i want. do you really wanna know why? a voice from under the blue tarp speaks, "sure why not, shithead." oooh. i'm a shithead. you should be greatful, because of me. because of every march 3 you get to fuck around and have some fun. because it is my birthday and it is more than my birthday. it is a sign that people are living and you can be alive and do things. "shut up, mr dildo." know we dont need to be harsh, do we? "well ... yes i do." we is that? do you think you can boss me around. "i'm not trying to boss you around. i'm just trying to make an ass out of you. so how big are your monkey balls?" [big hurt tries hard to hold everything back. he even tries to walk away, but the thing behind the blue tarp is just to annoying with his screaching voice. he cant take it anymore and runs towards the blue tarp and jumps behind it, to find out that it is his long lost evil twin brother.] who the fuck are you? "i'm yer evil twin brother." woa!@ "woa!@ is right. i've been trying to find you all this time." really? "yes ... really. know we can celebrate our birhtday together for the rest of your life. we can have fun and just screw around and cause some chaos, since we are responsible for our actions and do what we feel." sounds like a good idea. grab me a couple pixie sticks. "okay. since your getting a dr. pepper, grab me one too." okay. sounds cool. you can have a pixie stick. [big hurt and his twin brother big pain got high off of pixie sticks and drank so many dr. pepper's until they got sick to there stomachs the very next day.] --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 15 (ozzy concert, part 3) i'm a very ticked off camper. when me and my friends got out to the blockbuster desert sky place yesturday for the concert, they said the concert was cancelled. my three friends and i where really pissed off. but so was everyone else that was planning on watching the concert and go moshing. well i guess you have to give ozzy a break sometime. since they said he was really sick and had a big time fever and the doctor told him not to go on stage a perform tonight or he might cause himself to get even worse. that is understandable, but still i missed going to my first concert and it being the day before my birthday. well to make the night even worse. in my friends car, when we were coming back his transmission was giving out. so we couldnt go to fast. by the time we reached within on mile of our houses, we had to go under 20 miles per hour to even not have the car stall on us. when it did stall, we had to stop for the moment, then restart it a minute later. it was a pain in the butt. and when all this was happening i really had to take a big time piss. right now, i'm listing to the radio stations to find out when the concert will be rescheduled into his tour (if it even will be). all i know if it wont be reschedule, i will be one pissed off mug. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 16 (my bday) i thought i would let all of you know that today is a very very very special day to me. it is currently march 3 in the morning when i wrote this. at 7:30 tonight i will be 17, even though i've been going around saying that i'm 17, but i really turn it tonight. i will be going out to lunch with my dad to somewhere special (i hope) and then get my birthday present from him, since my parents are divorced from each other. and then my mom still has to by mine. and she might just take me around town and get something. but the only thing that i've asked for is a bass guitar. i really want and need a bass guitar. because of the band i'm in needs a bass player, besides me just writing songs and doing lead singing. but whatever my parents get me, i will appricate. as long as it is something that i've wanted before and need. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 17 (name the band) you see that my band needs a name. actually i'm part of two bands. yes, i said two bands. and to think i will most likely be playing bass guitar for both of them and mostly likely doing lead vocals for both of them. but i'm going to make a descission soon. one band might not want me to sing that much, just background vocals. but they seem to be the better band. but the other one wants me more and they all live closer and have cars for getting us to gigs. the one that wants me the most also doesnt have all of the equipment. we need to get a drum set, which we will be getting soon and the other guitar player needs to get a guitar (oops, fergot about that didnt we?). well i need a name. a bunch of names to choose from. any kind of name that sounds good for a band. i cant offer anything of yet. but maybe i'll be able to hook you up with something down the road. anyways, please email all ideas for band names to lowen@goodnet.com on the internet. if you dont have an internet account, then find a friend that has one and have them send it through mail for you. make sure you give me your handle or real name, so that i can include it in the next issue after the band i go to decides on the best name received through this. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 18 (closer by nine inch nails) here is another song by nine inch nails and that guy trent reznor. its called closer. 'closer' by nine inch nails you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you help me i broke apart my insides, help me i've got no soul to sell help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself i want to fuck you like an animal i want to feel you from the inside i want to fuck you like an animal my whole existence is flawed you get me closer to god you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything help me tear down my reason, help me its' your sex i can smell help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else i want to fuck you like an animal i want to feel you from the inside i want to fuck you like an animal my whole existence is flawed you get me closer to god through every forest, above the trees within my stomach, scraped off my knees i drink the honey inside your hive you are the reason i stay alive that is the entire song as it was written. if you want to, you can try to understand what trent is saying line by line. but i've choosen not to try to anayzle this song. since i'm not in the mood and i figure that stuff probably bores the shit out of you, but you can learn things from it. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 19 (school) what is school? why do we go to school? why do student hate school? how can school be changed to improve the learning of the students? well school is a place for students to learn and socialize. we are suppose to learn things that we will need later on in life. this is true. we expand our minds at school and become smarter and more intelligent. we talk to others and our language structure improves and becomes stronger. our vocabulary becomes better, when we learn different words. students probably hate school for many reasons. they hate just the word school and quiver up and go into a corner to hide. some hate the teachers or the school staff there. some hate the environment and decide that it aint a good environment, maybe because of someone that bugs them or because of rumours spread about them or someone close to them. mostly it is the teachers or staff that dont treat them how they feel they should be treated. i agree with this. since i've had the problems of teachers many of times. so in high school you can transfer out of that class and get a new teacher that may be better or not. the way we learn needs to change. all teachers should make learning fun. make games out of it. you learn better that way and the pressure of doing good is relieved. classes also need to be shortened, because i get so much free time to talk when the teacher is done with a lesson. that time could be taken up by learning a new subject in school, but no, the people in the districts have to make the schedules so that people are wasting time. i would rather get out of school early. say 11 or 12, like alternative schools do. and they learn everything we learn, but in a stricter way. i'm not saying go to the stricter learning, but dont waste time and make every class fun to learn. doesn that sound like a better idea. once again the student thinks of a good idea for changing school. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 20 (sometimes life sucks) remember how today was suppose to be my birthday. big woopie, right? wrong. first off my dad didnt get me anything, so we went out to lunch and went shopping. i got nirvana mtv unplugged and baseball batting gloves. like i really get to bat and all i do is pitch anyhow. then my mom wants to go shopping. i just dont get it. i dont care what i get and i want the little enjoyment of opening a present, which havent been able to since i was like 11 years old. she wants to take me shopping, so i told her no i dont want anything at all. she wants to go before it gets to late. she is putting stress on me when she actually thinks it will make me feel better. she also got me a cake when i didnt want one. all i want is a bass guitar which both of my parents could have pitched in for under 70 dollars if they got their heads out of their asses and woke up. but no, they make me feel like shit on my birthday, which is suppose to be a big happy day for you since it is your day and not anyone elses day. just yours and they kind of ruined it for me. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 21 (oh, me) this is 'oh, me' performed by nirvana off of the mtv unplugged album that they did in new york in sony studios. 'oh, me' performed by nirvana if I had to lose a mind, if I had to touch feelings i would lose my soul, the way I do i dont have to think, I only have to do it the results are always perfect but thats old news would you like to hear my voice sprinkled with emotion, invented at your birth i cant see the end of me my whole expanse I cannot see formulate infinity, store it deep inside me --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 22 (ads) okay. i'm going to start a section in this e-zine to advertise bulletin boards. great idea. eh? well i stole it. like everyone does everything. i got the idea from vagina ansi e-mag. so shoot me. anyways, here is the stuff to feel out and send in. board name ___________________________________ board number _________________________________ staff ________________________________________ software _____________________________________ affilations __________________________________ ______________________________________________ any other information you want added ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ send all that information to lowen@goodnet.com along with one or two ascii logos of your board if you have one. since this is only a text zine and not ansi. like you already noticed that. right now. i'm not charging for putting advertisments in this e-zine, but donations are greatly greatly excepted. if you would like to make a donation, email me for further information about that topic. thanks again. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 23 (today) well i was going through a fuck issue. trying to find something to read and came upon this. i find the information in this very true and maybe you should just read it and find out about today's society. Today ----- As each day passes, the future grows dimmer. If you catch the news, hear radio talk shows, read the paper, you will always hear about a multitude of bad events that plagued the day. Almost everytime you hear of some tragic event, you hear of some new legislation or some new science that will make events like that less frequent, or more bearable, or something positive. Who are we kidding though? Two years ago the violence was thought to be intolerable. More and more murders were being committed, more prisons were overcrowding, more violent crimes were happening, and overall, people were saying how it would get better because of tougher laws, better living conditions. Look around today. Same thing just a different date. More murders, more gun wielding kids, more overcrowding, more poverty, and like usual, more positive notions of things to come. Today, I can walk out my front door, drive a ways, and purchase a gun. A 9mm will do, doesn't really matter what kind of gun it is. From there, I walk to a place with a good amount of people, but kind of secluded. I break out the gun, and shoot four or five people. After that, I rape a woman, then kill her. I walk into a nearby store, commit armed robbery, then walk out and open fire on a few more people. I then drop my gun, sit on the sidewalk, and put my hands on my head. After the police arrest me for all the crimes that I will plead innocent to, I will begin my first trial a year or so later. One year in a county jail, eating three square meals, having a roof over my head, and relaxing with more free time than I have ever had. Three months after that, I am convicted of first degree murder on the first of my victims. I am sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole. A month after that I go to trial again, not appealing the first trial but instead, getting tried for the second of the murders. Another trial after that for the third, and so on. Probably after the second or so year, I will go to trial for the rape crime, then the armed robbery, and a few more murder charges. Doesn't matter that I was sentenced to life without parole years back, but under new law, I am to be tried for each of my crimes, even if a lesser crime, even if I have already been convicted. Now, on top of the 25,000 dollars you tax payers are dishing out to keep me fed for a year, you are paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for my trials, my public defender, my transportation to and from the court, and every other expense that I cause. Today I belong to Generation X. What is GX? That means I am imbetween the ages of 18 and 29. I am the generation after the Baby Boomers, and the generation before the unnamed generation running our streets right now. I am considered to be a member of the highest educated generation in America. Like many other members of GX, I blame the Baby Boomers for the hellish world I am forced to survive in. If I get a bachelor's degree, I am no longer guaranteed a job when I graduate. If I get a PHD, or a Master's, I face the potential of entering the job market 'Over Qualified'. If I blame the generation before me I must hear something to the effect of "It was tough for us to survive and make a living, no reason it shouldn't be for you too." Throughout my education I have been taught not to be prejudiced, not to be biased, and not to _stereotype_. Yet I belong to Generation X. Today, I must worry about everyone near me, no matter what they look like, or who they are. I know that at any time, my best friend, or a customer in the store I work at could pull a gun, and kill me. Urban violence no longer plagues the poor communities. Two days ago a man pulled a gun from his jacket enough to show the salesman and cashier that he was carrying, then proceeded to tell them "I am walking out of here with this notebook'. Indeed he did, he now owns a top of the line notebook computer. When I drive home, I must be careful not to make eye contact with anyone else around me. If I do, it might be interpreted as 'staring', and I must be punished. I can not yell at anyone for driving poorly near me. If I honk or give someone the finger, I am liable to wind up dead, just another statistic for the newspapers that will tell me things are getting better. Today, maybe that newspaper is right. I am no longer here on this planet. Dam --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 24 (our theme song) here is yellow journal's own them song. yes i made up a theme song for the text zine. big fucking deal. so go ahead and read it. 'yellow journal theme song' by big hurt you are really yellow you are really mellow you are journal for writting stuff you are journal for writting thoughts you are yellow journal yellow journal yellow journal you are a boy and look like a girl you are a messed up psycho so what if you read yellow journal yellow journal yellow journal --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 25 (childhood) do you remember your childhood? do you remember back when you didn't give a care in the world and nothing could hurt you? though it seemed that you would always fall down and scrap your knee and be back in the house getting yourself all patched up. well i sure do remember. when you were a kid, you didnt have to worry about anything at all. you got to run and run and it seemed like you would never get tired, then all of sudden you would get very tired and wanna stop playing. some things that i played when i was a kid was hide and go seek or ditch'em. also i played on the school and park playgrounds and make stuff in the sand. i would go down the slides, even though they seemed to be hot all of time. probably because the hot rosting sun was glaring down on the silver colored slide half of the time during the day. but when you are a kid you just dont care. you question why you got hurt later. too think i look around and around somedays and i see many people at my high school, stuck back in there childhood. it may not be a permanent thing, but still they are stuck sometimes in there childhood. they never got all of the play time out. which is actually good, if you like kids. but as you grow older, if you have to become to responsible for yourself and let that childhood be of the past. maybe when you are a lot older, like 20's or so, it is good to back to your childhood or where you were born and raised, if you have moved out or moved around a lot when you were a kid. if so i suggest going back to the place you were raised and born and try to remember the things of the past and just have some fun. i plan on doing this. and it is better than getting drunk and getting on the road and hitting someone head on and killing three people that you didnt even know. and maybe possibly killing your ownself in the process. you choose which one you would rather do this weekend or a weekend coming up. have a lot of fun, take care, and you can thanks me later. ***editor's note: if your life sucked when you were a kid and you still decide to go back to the past and you cry or tradgic things happen, i'm not responsible or either is Yellow Journal e-zine. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 26 (caught in a park) i dont know much about this, but i read some of the article and heard the entire story from a few people. well this teacher was sitting the park watching the children play. well they actually junior high kids. well that aint the bad part. the bad part was that he was masterbating while watching 8th grade girls playing and talking to one another. then there was a cop that was watching him, until he ejecuated, and then arrested the teacher. what the hell was the cop doing watching this man for that period of time. was he getting his jollies also. i guess so. but the teacher got arrested and now he is on trial or something and he also lost his job. well a lesson to be done is dont do this stuff. espically in a park. espically in public. if you must do it, do it in a dark closet a million miles away from the public under the sea. so that you dont get caught with your pants down. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 27 (american dream) what is the american dream? is wanting something that is out of reach. i believe the american dream when accomplished makes many people sad because it isnt what they expected. you go through life struggling to get ahead and make it rich and at least have enough put away when the time is right to retire. i believe most people dont ever make it to the actual american dream, but maybe their own short dreams or goals. for example, one person that has come a long way to what most people want as an american dream is bill gates, microsoft's president. he was once a computer programmer. through hard work and education and focused on his own small goals and where he wanted to be in the end, he made it through self motivation and desire to reach that end product. which is wealth and having his own company. but many people fall short of this dream. they let society drag then down and dont think it is possible to start from the beginning again. you can see people make the same mistakes again and again. they might be great, but they might not have motivation or the desire to move on to the next level. they dont want it enough. some people just cant handle all of the pressure and quit. some of these people just make stupid and silly mistakes that cost them a promotion, job, raise, or whatever might have been coming towards them in there future to get them closer to the american dream. once again people dont actually make it to the american dream, because of some lack of effort, the desire, or simple mistakes. that is why i try o even educate my own self and learn things out side of the classroom to better myself for something that i will enjoy and have fun doing as a job or later in my lifetime. that is why you should always try to have a desire for something you truly love and not just sit around doing nothing. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 28 (nine inch nails uses) trent uses a: 1.] mac quadra 950 (flood has a quadra 800 running cubase 2.0) 2.] digidesign pro tools direct to disk system 3.] studio vision pro 4.] turbo synth soft synthesis program 5.] a rare pre realease of the oberheim ob-mx (obie-moog) 6.] many, many akai s1000's, s1100's and s3000's 7.] kurweil k2000 (flood also has one) pretty cool-plays all the akai disks 8.] many old analog modular synths-arp\roland etc. (belong to flood except for arp) the main thing that is cool about these programs, is the ablity to run both digital audio and midi simultanously. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 29 (y0lk) for some odd reason i have this urge to stick up for the zine, y0lk, and all of the people that have ever wrote for it. who knows why y0lk is still around? to me it looks like it is starting to die off. but i guess creed and the other writers haven't had much time to put out any more. people say y0lk is stupid, silly, and should die. well maybe it should die. not really, because it is a form of entertainment and we need it damnit. we need y0lk. anyway, the reason started it and the reason he writes, is because he needs some reason to fuck around. basically he needs something to do to have some fun from time to time. so he sits his ass in front of the computer and starts writing away. if he put more effort into his writings they would be most likely dto's. maybe he might write for yellow journal someday. what do you say creed? --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 30 (submit articles) if you would like to submit articles to this text zine, please do and i will go over the article and if i like it, i will put it in. most likely i will put it in, but something may happen. email your submittions to: lowen@goodnet.com --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 31 (in a jam) james was not a bright kid. didnt do good in school at all. had mostly d's and c's and once in while he would happen to get a b or f. all that was going for him, was common sense. but one day he was driving to school, with one of his friends strapped in the passangers set. out of the blue, he car died on him. "fuck!@" yelled tony, james friend. "hmm," paused james, "what could be wrong?" "dont fucking look at me. i dont know these things. i'm getting straight f's in school. yer the smart one," screamed tony. "hush. you dont need to scream. we can work things out. and also my grades arent that good," said james. james flung his car door open and tony did the same. but tony was swearing underneath his breath. all of a sudden four guys come walking up to the car. they all surround tony, except for one that went up to james and was distracting him from what was about to happen. "what do you fuckheads want?" said tony. well that wasnt smart, espically when the guys look gangsters that have guns and knifes sticking out of there pockets and they are also bigger than him. but remember he doesnt have that much common sense. "nothing esay," homie number one said. "we just want yer money and yer clothes. and maybe this car," homie number three said. "well you aint getting my clothes and i dont have much on me. which i need for lunch today," tony said with a deeper voice, like he was trying to scare them off. but while on the other side of the car. james was talking with homie number four, which he recongizned from school. homie number four wasnt smart, but loved reading many non-sense type things, and always read e-zines. back on the passanger side the three thugs where giving tony a shit of a time. "give us the clothes and money now!@" said homie number two. "no." thug, thug, bewm, bewm, dong!@ james was laying on the ground knocked out. the guys didnt even use any guns or knifes. good thing, because tony didnt have much blood left since he donated blood to the nearest blood bank the day before. they took out his wallet and ripped the clothes right off of him. they took his 86 dollar boots and shaved his head. "bastard." yelled homie number two. "that lieing bastard, he had enough money for lunch for the next three months." "look what i found," homie number one said. "he has e-zines on him along with warez." "woa!@" said homie number three. "he must be so elite. he is getting money for those things. he is the shit. oh well. we got his money, warez, and e-zines." the other three homies worked there way over to where homie number four was messing with james. james was pissed cause he just saw his friend laying on the ground. now james was mad, like when you have dog shit on your shoes and you cant get it off and you have to go into the house and take a piss. "now guys. what do you want?" said james. "we want yer car, yer money, yer clothes, yer jacket, and yer crusty boxers." said homie number four. "well, i'm sorry, but you cant really have my boxers. since i just took a dump in them." replied james. "also my i dont wanna give away my car and i dont feel like wearing these clothes anymore, but i dont have a spare change to wear." "who cares, we want them all anyways. no if, and, or buts." yelled homie number two. "okay. i got a deal for you. since you seemed to like all of the my friends previous possessions. i'll give you the latest version of satan, y0lk, dto and some other text zine called yellow journal. and i might just throw in windows 95." "hmm. windows 95 sucks. we'll take the rest of the things and we wont harm you and even shove yer friend back into the car. but you need to throw in something else." said homie number one. "well, tony's sisters are pretty good looking and there mom is like a 9. so i'll give you there phone number, names and address." "sounds good to me." said homie number four. "the number is five five five, zero, one, sixty-nine. the mom's name is joyce, the daughters names are jennifer, melissa, christin, and lisa. they are all good looking and have fun." the four thugs wrote down the information on a sheet of paper and then shoved tony back in the car. james got back in the car and drove off in the the morning. tony asked how he got out of the jam and he said told him what he gave them except for his sister and moms number. and he told him that if he hears from them soon, i isnt my fault. when they got to school. neither james or tony's teachers believed them and wrote them a detention for after school. two of the four thugs ended up going out with tony's sisters and mom. and homie number four ended up marrying tony's sister, christin. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 32 (computer class) well since i was just talking about computer class with my friend. in my computer class we do nothing. woa!@ that shows how good the schooling system is. well now that we have a sub for the next month or two, since my actual teacher is because she will be having a baby within the next week or so, we do competely nothing, cept for walk around and play games on the computers all day. i even wrote some of this zine on my computer in computer class, since i was bored. the sub gives three 3 points a day for doing stuff. so i did stuff at the end of the hour so it looked like i worked on something. other than that i made it look like i was helping out people. the sub is stupid as hell. he doesnt say anything and he walks around and doesnt doing anything if the kids are doing anything wrong. woa!@ arent we smart. but i guess he is pretty cool sub. at least he doesnt make us do work, he just says you dont get points if you dont do any work that day. i'm currently getting an A in that class and i'm just starting ques and stacks and it should be easy since i just did this very long project on linked lists, that we had to do everything that is possible with them. anyways, i'm pretty good a computer programming. i would program this zine into an emag, but i like the whole idea that i can just open my editor and just start typing and typing and then just add to the index and then release it when i get enough stuff and enough time. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 33 (dto) dto is a great thing. those guys over a dto are so great and so wonderful i've decided to put the latest issue of dto zipped up in this issue of yellow journal. call me crazy, but i love you guys over at dto. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 34 (erections) okay. this subject may seem way off the wall. but all of you males out there get them all the fucking time. dont lie and say that i'm a little pussy and dont get them. cause your probably so sick of a guy that you get them when you look at your sisters friends, your moms younger friends, and if you have a brother, you get them when you look at his girlfriend. and of course you get them when you see some girl that has those thingies hanging off her chest and have a nice tight ass and a cunt that makes you hard and jizz your pants as soon as you see her. see girls and women wonder why guys fucking rape them. i didnt do anything, i just said no and he didnt stop. well once a rapist sees a girl that he gets hard on then he wants to rape her, because of the tight clothes that she was wearing at the time before the guy ripped it off of her. and then they blame us. well maybe we shouldnt go up to them and say bitch i want you or not stop when they say no over and over. but i woudlnt do that shit, it is just a fact that most guys would do that. they get hard and want that chick so bad, they rape them. erection, erection, erection!@ --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 35 (a joke) there was three mexicans and their teacher asked them to spell EAR!@ the first one said E - E - R. then the teacher asked the second one and he said E - R - E. and of course that is wrong. then the teacher asked the third and he said E - A - R. "correct!@," replied the teacher, "can you use that in a sentence?" so he busted out a joint, a took a hit, and then said, "earh!@" woa!@ that shit was funny. actually it is funnier in person when someone tells it to you face to face. i heard at one of my practices sometime last week. then i heard it once again today in homeroom. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 36 (ques in turbo pascal) i was so nice, i thought i would include some programming in this issue to help you learn. so here is some stuff for ques. pretty easy stuff. PROGRAM QUES; USES CRT; TYPE P = ^N_REC; N_REC = RECORD N : INTEGER; LINK : P; END; VAR FIRST : P; LAST : P; CHOICE : CHAR; PROCEDURE CREATE(VAR FIRST,LAST : P); VAR A,B : P; CHOICE : CHAR; TEMP : P; BEGIN CLRSCR; NEW(FIRST); A:=FIRST; REPEAT WRITELN('ENTER A NUMBER'); READLN(A^.N); WRITELN('DO YOU WANT TO ENTER ANOTHER (Y OR N)'); READLN(CHOICE); IF CHOICE = 'Y' THEN BEGIN NEW(TEMP); A^.LINK := TEMP; A:=TEMP; END; UNTIL CHOICE <> 'Y'; LAST:=A; LAST^.LINK:=NIL; END; PROCEDURE ADD(VAR FIRST,LAST : P); VAR TEMP : P; BEGIN CLRSCR; NEW(TEMP); LAST^.LINK:=TEMP; LAST:=TEMP; WRITELN('ENTER A NUMBER'); READLN(LAST^.N); LAST^.LINK:=NIL; END; PROCEDURE DELETE(VAR FIRST,LAST : P); VAR A : P; BEGIN CLRSCR; A:=FIRST; FIRST:=FIRST^.LINK; DISPOSE(A); END; PROCEDURE PRINT(VAR FIRST,LAST:P); VAR A : P; S : CHAR; BEGIN CLRSCR; A:=FIRST; REPEAT WRITELN(A^.N); A:=A^.LINK; UNTIL A = LAST^.LINK; S := '@'; WHILE S = '@' DO BEGIN S := READKEY; END; END; BEGIN CREATE(FIRST,LAST); REPEAT REPEAT CLRSCR; WRITELN('WELCOME TO THE QUES'); WRITELN; WRITELN('1 : ADD'); WRITELN('2 : DELETE'); WRITELN('3 : PRINT'); WRITELN('4 : QUIT'); WRITELN; WRITELN('WHAT IS YOUR PLEASURE?'); READLN(CHOICE); UNTIL (CHOICE = '1') OR (CHOICE = '2') OR (CHOICE = '3') OR (CHOICE = '4'); CASE CHOICE OF '1' : ADD(FIRST,LAST); '2' : DELETE(FIRST,LAST); '3' : PRINT(FIRST,LAST); END; UNTIL CHOICE = '4'; END. there you go and have some phun with doing it. i had phun doing them also. arent you glad that i brought them to you, so that you dont have to do it and you could save some time. some advise for you, is that you change it to your normal structure of programming programs and if you type in lower case then lower them and maybe change a few variables. i just happened to have my caps lock on through about half way of this, then i realized that it was on and left it. so sorry for the caps. but if you dont like it, then you shouldnt look at it. simple as that. :) --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 37 (centennial baseball) okay. i'm a pitcher and outfielder for my high school baseball team located in peoria, arizona. the school is centennial and i've been looking for a community newspaper called 'The Propspector'. it covers the peoria and glendale areas. we i've been looking in for stuff about my school and our team and other schools around us in our region so we know how they are doing. here is an article from the newspaper about our school and how we worked on our baseball field and built it up from almost nothing. volunteers 'pitch in' to rebuild field parents, others score run with improvements by rich ott, staff writer Centennial High School's baseball field has never looked better. "we're proud of it," said second-year coyote baseball coach vic dibella. "before we started, there was nothing here." the coyote baseball field has recently been given a major facelift by team players, coaches and numerous volunteers. "it has all come together and it's beautiful," said volunteer debbie mincenski. her son, luie contreras, is a junior on the varsity baseball team. "it was a joint effort," mincenski said. "a group of us (parents) were there every weeken for two months." the redesigning of the baseball field began shortly after the end of last year's season and has yet to be completed. "we still need a few things: a six-foot fence (right now the field has a four-foot fence) and a scoreboard," coach said. some of the changes that have already been mare are: the modification and installation of sprinkler systems, better infield grass, brick dugouts, a concession stand, an announcer/press box stand and a new three-way speaker system. "it's all for the kids," said larry stamper, father of coyote pitcher/ shortstop l.j. stamper. "anything we do for these guys to make sure they stay out of trouble and have bright futures." stamper, like many of the players' parents, pitched in to help rebuild the baseball stadium with what he knows best. stamper is a carpenter by trade. so he built the baseball team a custom rack with individual spaces for every player and coach to store their helments, gloves, bags and equipment. the rack is inside the dugout, which the volunteers "put enough block into to build a house." the interior cabinets for the concession stand were also built by stamper, while the lumber used to erect the building was donated by rob mcdonald, a sales representative for payless cashways. the concession stand's exterior was finished by the team around new year's eve, dibella said. "(with the concession stand) we have done much better than we thought we would," mincenski said. she manages the stand during games and has made $60 the first two home games this season. the stand provides spectators with refreshments, hot dogs, candy and coyote baseball t-shirts are currently "sold out," mincenski said. all the materials used to rebuild the stadium were either dontated by the volunteers or bought with money dontated by the volunteers and by selling advertising boards. dibella sold most of the advertising boards that now hang on the outfield fence. "it's a 'pride' thing," dibella said about rebuilding the stadium. "these boys are at school to almost 6:15 every night (practicing baseball and helping with the rebuilding work). that's part of that pride." the first phase of rebuilding the stadium was adding new sprinkler systems and grass in august. "i modified the (infield) sprinkler system to get better coverage so it all stays green, and i put in an entire sprinkler system in the outfield," said joe pfeiffer, owner of arizona lawnscaping. pfeiffer is one volunteer who does not have any children on the team, but he got involved when a friend dontated a new sprinkler system for the outfield. "i really enjoy doing it," pfeiffer said about helping improve the stadium's grass. he said it may also help his business by "word of mouth." the peoria resident will mow the infield grass once a week, checking the field's condition at least twice weekly. other key volunteers were ed miller, doug foust, louis aguilar, chuck chambers and david and beverly friedman. "i cant tell you how many hours (the friedmans) have been here," dibella said. david friedman, whose son plays pitcher/third base for the coyotes, is another carpenter. he built the announcer/press box stand for the stadium and helped put the roof on the dugouts. "it came out real good," friedman said. "we enjoyed doing it," beverley friedman said. "we try to get people involved with centennial." centennail principle dudley butts said he is "very proud of the action the parents have taken and the leadership of vic dibella." "thats how you develop a program," dibella said. "its more than just winning a ball game." well that was about it. i thought the article was good and it just gives you a little insite of how good of a person i am the people on my baseball team are. i've spent since the beginning of november helping out almost every weekend if not every other. it looks great. to bad i cant include pictures in here. maybe i could do a few ascii ones for the next issue. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 38 (heaven and hell come to earth) everyone on earth hada big smile on there face and was being kind and not comminting a single sin. this pissed someone off. and that one person was the man in the red suit. satan put a smirk on a whole lot of peoples faces, took the candy from babies, made birds drop from the sky and made the clouds go in front of the sun to make it dark and gloomy. this was pissing of god. so god reversed the situation so that they would be the same before satan had to come in a ruin his little happiness trip. now satan was really pissed. there worlds broke loose on earth and nothing was going to stop them from battling this one out. puff!@ a cloud of smoke appears and satan walks out as the fire is behind him. satan: (points to god) what do you think you are doing!@ i'm so angry. i cant believe you are doing this. you are making these people look like a bunch of stupid fucks walking around with this clown-like smile on there face. god: (points back waving his finger in satan's nose) now now. remember i created these people that walk on my earth. you are my evil twin brother that was brought apon this planet and then i beat you and you were doomed to hell for the rest of your life. you cant tell me what i'm doing is wrong and you cant change my mind. satan: do you really think so? god: yes, i do!@ no one will change my mind. satan: okay then. then i dare you ... god: (interupting) ... a dare!@ ooow. satan: sorry. but interupting people is uncalled for and i believe you should say sorry to me at once. god: well you can go lick adam's balls. satan: i thought eve was already doing that for him god: shut up. satan: anyways. back to the dare. i dare you to a contest of different events. and the loser will be banned to hell for the rest of his life reigning terror on the ones that were bad when they did live and then the winner will be able to go to heaven and just kick back. god: hmm. satan: well what do you think of my most wonderful and excellent plan. god: hmm. still thinking. satan: well hurry up and dont keep me waiting god steps into his office and thinks for awhile. god: (talking to himself) i know i can beat satan. i beat him once before. this also could be a trick. he could have this thing rigged. i know i can beat him. i beat him before and that is why he is in hell. okay. i think i will be going for it. i can beat him and can beat him. he steps out of his office, shuts the door and walks towards satan and puts his hand out and shakes hands with satan. god: (still shaking his hand) you got yourself a deal. satan: (laughing) good. very good. heaven will shortly be mine. god: what does that mean? you arent going to take over heaven. i will beat you, like i beat you once before. satan: is that what you think? hmm. boy are you wrong. see since i dared you i get to make the rules up for our contest. the events we will be playing are these three: mercy, homerun derby, and a sprinting race to get to the first issue of yellow journal. god: damnit!@ what fuck was i thinking. i'm gonna lose. he picked two of my worst events. oh well. i think i can do good in the sprinting. but i hope i can get one over this time in the homerun derby. satan: i'm gonna win. i'm gonna win. (pointing and mocking god) and you are not. (laughs) someone knocks on the door. then the door opens and the light seems to move every step that the figure moves foward as if he controlled the light and the dark. could he better than both combined? the voice speaks, "i'm trip!@" trip: i've here in my hands a contract to kill at least one of you. but i'm going to be the referee for your contest and the one that loses will have to die. god: fuck, fuck, fuck!@ i'm screwed. first i suck at 2 out of the 3 events and then i get killed if i lose, which i probably will. satan: to bad kid!@ trip: i'll give you both 5 minutes to both to get ready and get to the site. if both or just one of you arent there. i'm gonna have to terminate both of you. (laugh) hasta la vista baby. (laugh) satan: hurry your sorry wussy ass up. cause i dont feel like dieing today. god: i will. i dont wanna die just yet. satan goes back down to hell for a quick second to pick up a few things that he left behind and made some plans for the rest of the stuff that cant be cared to be brought to heaven this afternoon. god went up to heaven to say a quick good bye to mary and to some of the angels and made sure everything is okay. but he got thinking that he cant win in these events and he decided that he would give a speech that he would have to move on. he gave a long speech that lasted for about 6 minutes or even longer. a minute earlier before god was done giving his speech satan arrived to the site. satan: where is that fucker? trip: well it looks like you both might die today. sorry. he is late. so once he comes, i shall kill you both by buring you at the stake. good luck in your next life. oops. i forgot you wont have another life to live. god: (laughing) sorry i'm late. (laughing) oh no. i guess we both will die. trip: you both are terminated. hasta la vista baby. (laughing) this part of the story has been edited out from the original version because of the violence, blood, raping of god and satan, laughter, and whatever went on between then and now. trip: i'm now the ruler of earth. boy have i been waiting for this day. what should i do first. a puff of smoke appears and big hurt walks out. big hurt: wait a second. i believe i had the contract out on god and satan and that means that i'm the ruler of earth. trip: damn. forgot about that contract. i guess i was having too much fun. well if you are the new ruler of earth, then that means i want to be paid for the contract. big hurt: okay. here is your peanut and i promise when i get a chance i will start a "trip fan club". trip and big hurt walk off into the sunset knowing that they woke up today and accomplished something that brought them something great. --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - 39 (gotta jet) well i have to go. cause i need to ice my arm, since i pitched over a hundred pitches yesturday and my arm feels like jello. then i have to take a shower. it was phun while it lasted and i hope better things will come from this zine. i hope more people help me write this thing and i hope i get some feedback on things i need to improve and things that just need to be stopped. i dont feel this is my best work, but it will have to do for this issue. alos look for my works in GIMP emag, which should be coming out soon. i'm one of writers helping out freak the editor of GIMP get it off the ground for awhile, until it established a good rep. and i hope this zine does the same thing and doesnt become a flop. so just email at lowen@goodnet.com to give me comminents or just bitch at me for my lack of effort to put out a more quality zine. -big hurt writer, editor, president --- # ---- ! ------------------------------------------------------------- @ - i was going to put an ascii logo that took me about 2 minutes to think up. but it was such an eye sore, i decided to not include it since i want most of you to have to good eye site, when i release another issue so that you can read it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #@! Y E L L O W !@# #@! J O U R N A L !@# Yellow Journal is produced by John Mitchell (Big Hurt) whenever I feel like putting them out. Yellow Journal Issue Number is released on March 10, 1996. All rights reserved by John Mitchell copyright 1996. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------