_________________________ / ______________________\____ _______ / / \ /-------------- ------------- / ###### ## ## ###### \ | ## ## ## ## | | ## ###### #### | | ## ## ## ## | | ## ## ## ###### | | ================= | | ############## ### ================= | | ############## ### | | ## #### | | #### ### ###### ##### ###### | | #### ##### ############### ### ### | | #### ## ## ### ### ### ### | | #### ## ### ### ########## ##### | #### ## ## ### ### ### ### ## | ################# #### ##### ##### ### ### ## |################# ###### ####### ####### ### ### \ / | ####### - ## - \________________________________________________________ / \ +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+ Volume 1, Issue 3 ====The Begining==== June 22, 2004 +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+ :Mötley Staff: |- Mr. Maul: Editor & Writer -| |- Atticus: Writer(If he stops looking @ porn long enough to write something) -| |- Vampyre Prince: ? (I have an idea, but haven't asked him yet) -| +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+ The staff of The Zine is not responsible for reader's actions. This phile is for educational use only. Viewer discretion is advised. +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+ In this issue you will see: An introduction! Conversation with the operator! Voice mail box! Classifieds! +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+ Well, folks, I've decided to change the format. You've probably noticed that I've completely disregarded the margins I set in the first two issues. I'm such a rebel, so to all those poseur anarchists out there, THIS is anarchy! Also, I've decided to make this a PLA publication, meaning I will be dealing with phreaking a whole lot more. PLA 765! Or 317! Or Indiana! Or Midwest! Carrying on the tradition of PLA, I'm also introducing everyone's favorite: The Classified Ads, where you can put anything you want in them for free! That's right, buy, sell, trade, find a lover, post a message for the world right here in The Zine's classified ads, and best of all, it's free! So don't delay, send your ads today! mr_maul@astroboymail.com Or, if you don't want to, you can leave a message on the PLA Voice Mail Box. Brought to you in part by me! The other part I just found. One final PLA tidbit, it wouldn't be PLA without a loser list, so every once and a while I'll be posting the updated list, which should be long because there are a lot of losers in the world. P.S. Expect the usage of Roy and Cactus in upcomming issues. ¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ¶ Driving the Operator Buggy ¶ ?ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ? Here's a transcript of me trying to get the operator to dial a toll free number for me. I didn't say I worked for them because I was challenging myself. I know, I'm a loser like that, but I was bored, and there was a pay phone right there. Recorded greeting: Hello! Operator Pam! Me: Hello? Pam: Hello. Operator Pam. *Click* she hangs up on me. Me: Huh. Dial 0 Recorded greeting: Hello! Operator Linda! Linda: Hello, this is operator Linda. Me: Why did your voice change? Linda: What? Me: When you answered you were all happy, and then you sounded like you were going to kill yourself. Why? Linda: Well, that's because it's a recording. Me: Huh? Linda: A recording. It's a recording of my voice. Me: Oh...why? Linda: Because we get about a thousand calls a day. Me: Why don't you just say your name a thousand times. Linda: If you were me would you want to say your name a thousand times? Me: Yes. Linda: I don't think you would. Me: I know I would. Linda: Sir, is- Me: Hey, if you don't want to say your name, then why did you say it after the recording, doesn't that defeat the whole purpose? Linda: (Annoyed) Look, is there something you needed? Me: Oh, yeah, can you dial a number for me? Linda: What is it? Me: Do you do toll free numbers? Linda: No sir we do not. Me: Why? Linda: Let me get my supervisor, please hold. *beep* Me: Why? Sue: Supervisor, what seems to be the problem? Me: I'm sorry, I didn't catch you name. Sue: It's Sue. Me: Oh. Hi Sue. Sue: Hi, what seems to be the problem? Me: Nothing seems to be a problem, there is definately a problem. Sue: What is it sir? Me: Well you know that shady character, operator Linda? Sue: Yes. Me: Well I called up here, minding my own business, you know, trying to dial a number, anyway, she starts bad mouthing me saying stuff like "I hate you," and "You're so stupid," and "I should have never become an operator." Then she started making fun of my mom. You know, I think it's because I'm white. Sue: Well what number were you trying to call? Me: It's 1-800... Sue: We can't make toll free calls sir. Me: Last time I called you did. Sue: Well, we can't. Me: Why? Sue: Because some numbers cost money. Me: Don't all calls cost money? Sue: Well sir, some toll free numbers charge more than the connect fee. Me: But if they're toll free, wouldn't they be toll free? Sue: Some people try and do this to get around paying for they're calls. Me: That's shocking! Sue: So that's why I can't connect the call for you. Me: Yeah you can. Sue: I just explained to you that I can't. Me: You work for the phone company, you can do anything. Sue: It's against regulation. Me: You can just press a button and connect me anywhere. Sue: I can't dial toll free numbers for you sir. Me: What if I really need to call an 800 number? Sue: Then hang up and dial it. There's no charge. Me: I can't. This phone's missing the eight button. Sue: Then I would suggest moving to a different phone. Me: I can't do that either. I stole all the others. Sue: What? Me: I said there aren't any other phones around. Not for miles. I'm out here in the middle of the desert in Roy, New Mexico and the only thing I can see are cactuses. Cacti. Plural of CACTUS! Sue: Well sir I can't help you. Me: Hey! Is the reason you can't make toll free calls because so many people have done bad things? Sue: I guess that's part of the reason. Me: Like calling sex chatlines? Sue: Yes. Me: Or what I was trying to do? Sue: What? Me: Op divert my call so I don't have to pay. Sue: Let me connect you with security. *beep* Me: Why? And that was about it. Let me connect you with security. Hah! How lame can you get? I laughed for a few days after this one. It was the longest anyone with the phone company had ever put up with me. My goal with this one was to see how many times I could ask why? When you're going to annoy the operator, the two best ways to do it is to either play the role of the retard, or the short-tempered angry person. Both ways work like a charm. Works on all pranks. ¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ Ï PLA Voice Mail Box Ï ?ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ? I'm trying something new, and I'll probably regret it, but I've set up a VMB for The Zine. You're all thinking, what's so great/new/bad about that, but the thing is it's on a VMB that I hijacked. It's on some company's VMB system, and it's an unused box. Here's the problem: as much as I'd like to trust every single person who's reading this right now, I most likely can't, but I will. You can leave a message, listen to messages, but please don't delete messages, as I would like to hear them too, and I might want to add some to upcoming issues. Here's what you do: 1. dial 1-800-456-4545 2. press * when you get the automated greeting. 3. press # when you get the next options 4. mail box number: 3333 5. password: 123456 6. listen to options, and to leave a message, just send it to 3333. Pretty easy ain't it? Took me like a second to get the mail box, but I don't want to have to get another one just because some people can't control themselves. So please use the mail box responsibly. ßÛÛ ÛÛ ÜÛßÛÜ ÛÛ ßÛÛ ÜÜÜ ÛÛ ÜÜÜ ÜÜÜ ÜÜÜ ÜÜÜ ÛÛ ßß ÜÜÜ ÜÜÜ ÜÜ ÛÛ ÜÜÜ ÜÛÛ ßÛ ÛÛ ßßÜÛÛ ßÛÛÜ ßÛÛÜ ÛÛ ßÛÛß ÛÛ ÜÛÛ ÛÛ ÜÛÛ ßÛÛ ßÛÛÜ ÚÄÄÄÄÛÛÛÄÄÄÄÄÛÛÄÄÜÛÄÛÛÄÄÄÄßÛÛÄÄÄßÛÛÄÄÛÛÄÄÄÛÛÄÄÄÄÄÛÛÄÄÛÛßßßßÄÛÛÄÄÄÛÛÄÄÄÄßÛÛÄÄÄÄ¿ : ßÛÜÜß ÜÛÛÜ ßÛÜßßÜ ßÜÜÛß ßÜÜÛß ÜÛÛÜ ÜÛÛÜ ÜÛÛÜ ßÛÜÜß ßÛÜßÛÛÜ ßÜÜÛß : :.............................................................................: : Own this space! It could be : Wouldn't you like to be the first person to : : yours for just nothing next : place an ad in the NEW PLA Classifieds : : issue! That's right folks! : Section? I know I would. So the next time : : I must be insane to be just : you're about to put that antique blue box up : : giving these advertisment : on Ebay, just stop and e-mail your ad for it : : spaces out for free! That's : to mr_maul@astroboymail.com. .................: : why they call me Crazy : You'll be a lot cooler if : Hey! You! Yeah : : Maul! Actually they don't, : you do. And if you don't, : you. The one : : but you can if you like : you won't be cooler. : sitting at the : : (try it and I'll kill you). :..............................: computer. You : : So if you have an ad, a : know who you are. You look like the type of : : message, or anything, just : person who is in desperate need of a friend : : e-mail a self - addressed : of the dating variety. Submit your ad today! : : stamped envelope to The PLA : mr_maul@astroboymail.com. : : Classifieds @ mr_maul@astro :...............................................: : boymail.com. : Send your ads today! mr_maul@astroboymail.com : :.............................:...............................................: : Please! I beg you! I'm in desperate need of material, well, not really, but : : if you have any jokes, stories, lymerics, anything, just send it to me at : : mr_maul@astroboymail.com. : :.............................................................................: Sorry this issue was so short, but I promise next issue will be longer, really. ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄContactÄTheÄPhoneÄLosersÄOfÄAmericaÄNearestÄYou!ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ Mr. Maul.........................................mr_maul@astroboymail.com ³ ³ PLA Voice Mail Box................1-800-456-4545 mailbox#3333 pass:123456 ³ ³ The Zine distribution site.........web.textfiles.com/ezines (Jason Rocks!) ³ ³ ³ ³ Stay tuned for the next issue which will include more of my ramblings for ³ ³ you to read, and more Coco Puffs! Cactus! Keep on red boxing, my little ³ ³ NÜ-AGE phreaking minions of doom! ³ ÔÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ;