The imphamous Timmy file Written by: Altorin -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Date: TIMMY! Dear Diary, TIMMY!! TIMMY!! LIVING A LIE!!! LIVING LIE TIMMY!!! (I had a really bad day today) AHHHHH TIMMY!! (The kids at school made fun of me for being retarded) LIVING LIE!! TIMMY!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!! (I got them back though, I pissed in the apple juice machine...) TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! (HAHAHAHAHA) Date: AHHH!! Dear Diary, NAHH! TIMMY!!! (Forgive me, for I have sinned) Timmay. (This homeless guy asked me for money earlier) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (I killed him) LIVING A LIE!! TIMMAY TIMMY!! (And stole his shoes...) Timmay... (Today was a good day...) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Timmy goes to the Zoo Written by: Altorin -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Timmy, the 8 year old parapalegic wheeled slowly toward the large black wrought iron gate that kept all of his favorite animals inside! Oh, he couldnt wait to see all the funny monkeys, and happy lions! and Merry Giraffes, and his favorite, the happy little cute koala bear! Oh how he loved the koala bears. So, the little fuck wheeled around the corner and paid his $3.50 cents to get into the zoo. The smile on his face was almost as wide as his fat ass, and he was ever so excited. The zoo-keeper was a jolly old fat man who seemed to have a strange liking for Timmy. Timmy shrugged it off (well, it would have been a shrug, but Timmy was so fucking mangled it looked like a siezure), as the old man is just very happy! He let Timmy into the zoo, and Timmy squealed in delight, yelling his own name, fallowed by the "Living a Lie" which generally followed his slurred speach! After getting some popcorn and cotton candy, so he could look "cool" in front of the other retards, Timmy went looking at the animals. He saw many magical things on that day! Monkeys were throwing their shit at one another, and the Lions were Eating Eachother! Also, the Giraffes were very angry, so they attacked anyone who came near! Timmy was having a ball, just wheeling his wheelchair along the ceramic stone pathways. Then, Timmy saw what he had come to see! The Koala Bears! But... these Koala bears werent friendly like his teddy bears... They smelled like Poo! And they wouldnt stop fighting! One Koala would just jump on the back of the other one and go nuts! Timmy didnt know what to do! Timmy didnt want to see the Koalas hurt eachother, so he jumped out of his wheelchair and slowly climbed towards his friends, the bears... Too bad, it was to be his demise... Fucking Koalas dont like to be interrupted... The End ??? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Timmy meets Crippled Stumpy Girl Written by: Altorin Another misadventure of Timmy, the Mangled Miscreant, In this Saga, he encounters the love of his young life, Linda, the equally mangled new kid, who the students call "Crippled Stumpy Girl" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Timmy sat alone in school, thinking to himself, thinking things like; "Timmy!" and... "Living a Lie!" and other such things that make no real sense to sane people who witness them. He sat there quietly, chewing on his pencil, and looking with an blank stare at the paper in front of him. Then, Ms. Chokesondik stood at the front of the class. "Students, BE QUIET!!" she screamed loudly, her lazy eye dropping slightly. "We have a new student in class, I'd like you all to say hello to Linda Metcalf! STUDENTS!!!" she screamed again as the children looked at the door. In, on a chrome wheelchair, wheeled the most mangled looking human being in the world! To the children, she seemed HIDEOUS and SCARY! She was missing a leg, and a good number of her fingers, and she drooled alot! But Timmy, being the fucking tard that he is, saw her as an angel. He fell instantly in love with the piece of shit. He instantly started drawing a picture of her, but, it turned into something that looked more like a circle with a couple dots in the middle and a big smile. Timmy wheeled slowly towards the young lady, and gave her the picture. She turned to him and said with a dumb look in her eyes "LINDA!!!" and held his hand. Timmy was on cloud 9, that little fucked up brain of his kept spinning with images of things he had never witnessed, verticle lines... and strange circles that seemed to plage his brain! The little boy also experienced something else that could be called strange; for the first time in years, he had some feeling below his waist! This WAS a happy day! They were inseperable from day one, they would wheel their wheelchairs down the road, laughing and shouting their own names in glee. They even shouted eachother's names, "TIMMY!!" and "LINDA!!" were heard all throughout the neighborhood, and everyone could smell the love, and urine, in the air. Timmy looked into the badly deformed eyes of his love, and saw true love, or, maybe just pretty eyes, or, maybe just eyes, but he did it anyway, and shouted "Linda!!" at the top of his lungs! Then, the inevitable happened, and they kissed! An electric JOLT shot through Timmy, and he flew from his wheelchair at TOP speed, shouting "AHHH!!! LIVING A LIE!!!" Linda wheeled over to where the little shit was laying on his ass, and said "Timmy? Timmy Linda... ahhh!!" then jumped down onto the grass with him. They rolled on the grass and kissed in a very fucked up manor that almost looks like a Cripple Fight, but in more of a KISSY KISSY sort of atmosphere like when they do the potting wheel in Ghost, but with less ghosts, and more retards. The only retard in Ghost is that patrick swayze guy, and 2 is more then 1 right? These were 2 retards in love! Soon, they went back to Timmy's house and started making out... Little red shirts were flying everywhere, and soon, things were getting a little steamy... imagine 2 midgits wrestling in a sauna, and you'd have a grip on what was occuring. Timmy was in 7th heaven! Ironically, he finally made sense when shouting "LINDA!!!" as it is a customary thing to say when one is, getting busy. But, alas, it was not allowed to last. Timmy's father wheeled his way into the living room where Timmy and Linda were getting it on and exclaimed "KENNETH!!!" Really loud and shouted at Linda, "Girl Timmy! Kenneth!! GIRL!!! AHHHH!!!" and kicked Linda out. Timmy was grounded for 1 week, then he was allowed to goto the zoo. The End.