By: Xoo "The Feds Bust Xoo" I was walking from my school, pass the football field to the car. I was casually walking with matches in my hand. I was lighting, shaking, then throwing matches, onto the ground. As I approached the end of the football field, a cop jumped out, behind some trees. COP: "What do you think you are doing?" Xoo: "Nothing, sir." COP: "(turns me around), that's it, your going to jail pal..." Xoo: "(shocked), what did I do officer?" COP: "Lighting matches, then throwing them in dry leaves?" Xoo: (glazed stare) COP: "turn around, and look..." Xoo: "(turns around, sees a small fire, walks over to fire, COP follows) Xoo: "Whoa, i didn't mean to start a fire..." COP: "Ummm, yeah right." COP: "(talking on walkie-talkie, that cop-talk) COP: "(takes me towards school) COP2:"(Approaches, COP and Xoo) COP2/COP "(takes me to school) Xoo: "what exactly is going to happen to me?" COP: (no response) COP/COP2/Xoo: "(approach some white, white haired man) Xoo: "Hi" Whitey: "(escorts Xoo to private room) Whitey: "Take a seat, son." Xoo: "(sits down)" COP: "I think we found the person we are looking for." Xoo: "What are you talking about?" Whitey: "I think you know." Xoo: "Now, I am confused." COP: "This kid was lighting matches and throwing them into the woods." Whitey: "Is this true?" Xoo: "No, i was lighting matches, then shaking them to ensure that they were put out, then dropping them." Whitey: "Why did you do this?" Xoo: "I dunno, i guess I was bored." Whitey: "Eh, you were bored?" Xoo: "A little." COP: "Your going to jail pal." Xoo: "Are you trying to scare me like this or something sir?" COP: "No son, i am telling you the truth (grins) Whitey: "If you were blowing the matches out, as you say, then how do you explain the fire you started. Xoo :"I guess one of them wasn't blown out properly, then. It was a very small fire to say the least. Whitey: "You know this is considered arson, even if it is a minor fire. COP: "Yeah, and you could go to jail." Xoo: "Sir, could you ask the Police officer to stop reminding me of jail." Whitey: "Lietenent, stop scaring the child." Xoo: "I beg your pardon sir, but i am NOT a child." Whitney: "How old are you then? Xoo: (replies cut) Whitey: "OK, but you will be treated as a juvilnile." Whitey: "A letter will be sent home." Whitey: "You will be suspended from school for 5 days" Xoo: "I promise to you sir, that i will spend those 5 days studying" (i wrote this shit in that time) Whitey: "Glad to hear it. Another thing, you may have to show your case to the Board of Education, since there were previous fires in the same ares..." Xoo: "You mean to say, that you think--I started those other fires?" Whitey: "Yes, we think it was you." Xoo: "Why would i do something like that?" :-) Whitey: "I don't know, kids now-a-days are really screwed up." COP: "Don't deny it, i saw you...Your going to jail pal." Xoo: (looks at COP) "Ok, thanks for the tip." COP: "Don't act smart with me young man." Whitey: "Where do you live?" Xoo: "I can't tell that to strangers." Whitey: "Oh, so you wanna play Mr. Smartie-Pants, eh?" "I can play that too." Xoo: "I'm sorry sir." (like i'm ever sorry...) Whitey: "What's your address and phone number?" Xoo: (replies cut, i don't want you to know where i live) COP: "Can I call the superintendant, and tell them about him?" Whitey: "No, not yet...we don't have all our fact straight, lets get this issue sorted out." Xoo: "Ok, can I go now?" Whitey: "Hold on, first I have to take you to the police station." Xoo: "Cool, can i go in the police car?" Whitey: "No, looks like I gotta drive you." (This dude drives a cool-ass porsche) Xoo: "oh, well" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-The PO-Lice Station-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- PoliceMan: "What another one?" Whitey: "Yep, this time i think he's the one." PoliceMan: "What charge? DWI, Drugs? Whitey: "Arson." Xoo: "I didn't do anything..." Whitey: "Let me talk, son." PoliceMan: "Hello there, kid. My name is Lt. Bill MacMoo (his real name!) and I am a police officer of the law. I am here to protect you, and to be your friend. If you have anything you would like to get off of your chest about your obsession with fire, I am here to listen... Xoo: (thinking...what bullshit) No sir, thanks for the offer. Whitey: Well, i guess I better leave you two alone. COP: (comes out from nowhere) "Ha, your going to jail pal." Xoo: "What the hell?" PoliceMan: "what did you say?" Xoo: "I said, Fuq Ma' Bell." PoliceMan: "That's not right to swear." Xoo: "Sorry." COP: "you better be, or else you could go to jail..." PoliceMan: Come with me son. (takes Xoo with him to little room) Xoo: "why are we here?" PoliceMan: "Fingerprint Identification." Xoo: "am I going to jail?" PoliceMan: "I'm afraid you are, but only for a week." COP: "told you, you should have listened to me." Xoo: "ok, can i make one phone call?" PoliceMan: "yeah, i guess." Xoo: (I call my friend, and he tries to bail me out) -=-=-=-=-=-=2 days later=-=-=-=-=-=-=- PoliceMan: "Your free to go." Xoo: (tired, sweating...)"Thanks, you the man..." Xoo: (starts walking home) (-eof-) (c)nXo/loteknologies